Ignorance is not Innocence
by drgemini86
Summary: Sequel to Blissful Ignorance, as Daniel comes to terms with a sad loss, danger looms on the horizon for his family from an ex who just can't let go. SamDaniel CamOC TealcShaunac. Set in the Changeling AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Ignorance is not Innocence, by DrGemini86 (DrGemini24)**

_**Summary**: Sequel to Blissful Ignorance. Daniel is left reeling from a sad event, but as he and Sam try to come to terms with it, danger looms on the horizon from an ex who just can't let go. Set in the AU from Teal'c's dream in Changeling_

_**Pairings: **Sam/Daniel, Jack/Sara, Teal'c/Shau'nac, Jonas/Vala, Cam/OC, Melburn/Claire, a little bit of Daniel/Sarah_

_**Rating: **T_

_**Category: **Established Relationship_

_**Genres: **A/U, Action/Adventure, Drama, Friendship, Relationship, Romance, Sequel, Tragedy_

_**A/N: **thanks to Chas54 for asking about a sequel a while back. Apologies for the length of time it's taken... things have just been crazy. Title is from a Robert Browning quote: "Ignorance is not innocence but sin." I've tried to keep it consistent with the general ignorance theme of the last story as it's set in a universe where the Goa'uld never came to Earth._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel looked up at the trees which were slowly shedding their leaves. There were tears in his eyes but he didn't want anyone to know. He was the only male in the Ballard family now, and he felt that he had to be strong for everyone: for his mother, for his sister, for his aunts, and for Sam. But it was hard bearing the burden by himself. He was hurting as much as they were; hurting after losing Nick. They hadn't had the best of relationships, but in recent times, Daniel and he had managed to make their peace.

Nick had been ill for some time; they had expected this day to come, but it wasn't any less of a shock when he did leave them. Shock gave way to pain and to regret. Daniel sighed softly as he watched the leaves being caught up in a small breeze, and he thought of how trees symbolised humanity. Each year, trees lost their leaves, and each year, they grew more; a never-ending cycle of death and rebirth.

A tear rolled down Daniel's cheek as he felt himself crumble. His grandfather was dead. He'd never had a chance to tell him just how much he had changed him; just how he had made him a different person and made him remember who he really was. He'd never had a chance to say goodbye despite them all planning for the worst.

In his car, parked some distance away, Sam was seated in the passenger seat. With their infant daughter in her arms, she watched her husband grieve by himself. She didn't know what to do; what to say, except to leave him. In amongst the shockwaves surrounding Nick's passing, he hadn't had time to breathe, let alone to grieve. She knew that despite their years of arguments, Daniel loved his grandfather dearly. She sniffed and brushed away a tear as she remembered over a year previously when she had visited Nick one night and talked to him. She could still see those deep blue eyes, still sparkling despite the cloudiness of age.

Sam quickly dried her eyes when someone opened the back door of the car. She turned around to see Daniel's sister, Tessa, climb in and shut the door behind her. Sam asked, glancing through the window, "Where's Cam?"

Tessa leaned forward between the front seats, a wistful expression on her face. She said, "He's with Mom and Auntie Marie." She peered through the glass on Sam's side of the car, looking out at her brother in the distance. Tessa said with a sigh, "It's like he's lost himself." Her eyes still on her brother, she continued, "I miss him too... despite his cat hating tendencies, he was _Opa_."

Sam frowned, curious as she looked at Tessa. She asked, "Opa?"

An incredulous Tessa turned to look at Sam. She said, "You've been married to my brother for over a year and you don't know what _Opa_ means? What has he been teaching you?" She shrugged. "I guess it's understandable; Danny only called him that when he was a kid. It's Dutch for Grandpa."

Sam slowly nodded, and said, bemused, "You know, Daniel has never really taught me much Dutch. I know that 'dag' means _hi_ as well as _bye_... and 'Moeder' means _Mom_."

"Maybe he's saving up the teaching thing for when Maddie gets older."

Tessa smiled as she smoothed her niece's hair, the infant looking up at her with a toothy grin. Sam sighed as she looked out at Daniel once again. She said, "Maybe."

"Go to him."

Sam turned to Tessa, not sure she had heard her right. "What?"

"Go to him... otherwise we'll be waiting 'til Maddie goes to college. Granted, being a Jackson, she'll be there in half the time, but still, you know, I don't wanna grow old in this car."

Sam glanced down at her daughter and then said, "What about Mom or you?" She shrugged a little, looking helpless. "Nick's your Grandpa too. You should go."

Tessa appeared momentarily awkward. She then said, looking sad, "Nope, you should go. If it wasn't for you, he and Danny would never have been on speaking terms this past year. You helped them both." Tessa then smiled as picked up her niece. "Come on, give me the little Oma."

Sam passed Maddie to Tessa, who proceeded to coo over the youngster. Sam asked, curious, "Oma? That means 'Grandma', right?"

Tessa remarked cheekily, "You're picking the lingo up fast." Tessa turned serious and said, "Go on, he needs you."

Sam turned to look at her sister-in-law and her daughter. She smiled briefly to see the little girl infatuated by her aunt's necklace. Sam then opened the door and stepped out into the autumn breeze. She nodded at Cam, who was wearing Air Force dress blues instead of the black suits that the rest of the men had come in. She then walked around the car and across the grass towards Daniel.

Daniel flinched in surprise when she reached him, and he hesitantly met her gaze. Sam looked up at him, tears in her own eyes on seeing his grief in full view. She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze as she held it. His gaze turned back to the trees, and she spoke to him, albeit a touch hoarsely. She said,

"Daniel, it's okay to grieve. He was your Grandpa. It's okay."

He replied to her, his voice sounding as though his airways were congested. He said, "I didn't know it would hurt this much." He sniffed and looked at Sam again. "My Opa's dead."

Torn by his grief, she hugged him. He held onto her tightly as though he was making sure that she was still there. For a long moment, they remained like that as he tried to steady himself, finding dry land. As they heard car engines starting, he let her go, and she reached up to straighten his glasses. She glanced back at his car to see Cam now in the back-seat with Tessa as they played with Maddie. She reached for his hand again, and they walked back to the car.

He allowed himself to smile a little as he felt her hand hold his, feeling as though it was anchoring him in the raging tempest of his grief. He was grateful but, for once, he couldn't quite put his feelings into words. Instead, he waited until they reached the car.

Sam let go of his hand and rubbed his shoulder affectionately. She was about to go back to her side of the car when he said her name. She looked at him, concerned, and he kissed her. He then said to her, a glowing smile on his face,

"Thanks."

She smiled, her cheeks flushed as she went back to her side of the car. Ignoring the loud protests from Tessa, she looked over the roof at Daniel. They turned to see the last of the Ballard and Jackson cars leaving. They waved as the drivers of some of the departing cars beeped their horns. They then looked back at one another, and Sam appeared concerned again. She said,

"You sure you're okay? I'm sure Mom would understand if you gave it a miss."

Daniel was about to reply when Tessa wound down the window in the back-seat. Daniel's sister then said, annoyed, "Hey! You've already taken long enough... and no, Mom isn't gonna forgive you."

Daniel rolled his eyes and cocked his head to one side. He said in reply to his sister, "Butt out, Tess." His expression softened as he looked at Sam, and he said, "I'm fine... and Tess is right. Mom would kill me."

Sam watched him for a moment before they both got into the car. Daniel looked back to see Maddie strapped into her car seat, in between Cam and Tessa. He smiled at his daughter as she chewed on her fist, and then he started the engine.

He turned again to look through the back window. He was about to reverse out when he felt Sam's hand on his thigh. Smiling slightly at that, he continued, before turning and following the route the other cars had taken. Cam remarked with a smirk,

"Careful, Sam, the boy's gotta drive."


	2. Chapter 2

In the kitchen of the Jackson family house, Claire kept up appearances until various guests and family members had filtered through to the living room. Alone, finally, her cheery façade broke, and she slumped at the kitchen table, feeling as though a part of her was missing. She had no tears left to cry; instead, she rested her chin on her hands and watched as raindrops hit the kitchen window. She was now an orphan. True, the word 'orphan' suited a child in her situation rather than someone in their sixties, but all the same, she felt lost. Death was always hard for her – she hated the feeling of being left behind while the dead didn't feel the same sense of loss or pain.

But it was one of those things that reminded her of what it was to be human. She had brought up two children to believe that there were only two things certain in the world that they lived in – life and death; and that life was short. Everything else in life was changeable – everything else _should_ be changeable, because when one was dead, there was not an awful lot one could change.

Because her back was to the kitchen door, she didn't hear him come in. Lost as she was in her sense of despair, she didn't see him until he was standing beside her chair, a hand on her shoulder. Yet, she didn't jump or even look up. She reached up to rest her own hand on his, and she said,

"I can't believe he's gone, Mel."

Melburn looked down at his wife, a great sadness in his eyes. Men of his generation, however, didn't cry – not in front of anyone – especially and including their wives. But he remained by her side, silently supporting her and making sure she knew that he was there for her. He said, sighing softly,

"He had a good life, Claire... and he had you and your sisters, and all of those grandchildren. I know he was proud of you. He had a hard time showing it, but he was."

Claire sniffed and she smiled slightly. She gave his hand a squeeze and said, "Yeah. I always knew. He was only like that since we lost Mom." Her voice quietened. "But it doesn't change the fact that he's gone."

"No, it doesn't, but he's not gone, really. You know that. As long as we all remember him, he never will be gone, will he?"

She leaned her head against him and he moved his hand from her shoulder. He smoothed her hair as she closed her eyes, and he thought of his father-in-law. He smiled a little as he looked down at her her, at the mostly white hair that was once a shade of light brown. Even now, her winsome beauty could take his breath away. He leaned down and kissed her hair, whispering,

"It'll all be okay, Claire. I promise."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

In the living room, some of the guests were looking through some old photos. The voices of Claire's sisters, Marie and Christine, could be heard over almost everything else at times as they answered questions or volunteered tidbits of information. Much to Daniel's amusement, Marie and Christine insisted on sitting right next to Cam, while Tessa looked less than impressed.

The sight of two middle-aged women fussing over Cam and fighting over who was going to show which picture to him, proved too much for Sam. After venturing away to laugh, she then took to keeping a grumbling Tessa company near the French windows. Tessa held the Jackson family cat, Hatshepsut, in her arms. She stroked the black cat, and then frowned a little when the cat leapt down from her arms, walking towards the group of relatives who were looking at photographs. Tessa made a face, and said, annoyed,

"Okay, this is what I get for having a boyfriend too good for me."

A concerned Sam nudged her, and said, "Hey, don't say that about yourself. You and Cam are great together."

Tessa said, sounding envious, "Yeah, but you know, I'd like us to be together whenever I come home, rather than Mom and the terrible twosome grabbing him. I mean, for stupid's sake, I haven't been able to spend any time with him since the twenty-minute drive here. Twenty minutes is not a lot to build a relationship on."

Sam said, slightly amused, "Being fair, Tess, we only come here once or twice a year... you get him way more than they do. You get him way more than the rest of us do. I hope you're treating my little brother right."

Tessa frowned in annoyance, both at Sam's smirk and at the situation in general. She said, "Yeah, well, I'd like to be able to show him around the place. I was going to show him around the area last Christmas but he got jumped by those sex-starved baby boomers."

Sam barely stifled a laugh as Tessa continued to grumble. Sam then said, "Honey, I know how you feel... just grab him. He's too polite right now to get away from them." She glanced back to see Daniel entering the room with their daughter over his shoulder. She nudged Tessa and said, "Watch."

Tessa turned to look as Marie and Christine started fussing. They got up and Marie said excitedly, "Danny! Come sit with us! We were showing Cameron photos of your grandfather when he was a young man. Your mother talks such a lot and you know all the stories... please, sit next to me and tell us about when..."

Daniel cleared his throat and said, "Sorry, Aunt Marie... the baby wants her mother, and I do too."

Sam turned away to hide a smile when she saw Daniel pinch Maddie. Maddie promptly cried and Daniel's aunts proceeded to fuss over the child. Cam tried hard to remain polite when Christine sat back down next to him, a little closer than she had before. Daniel managed to catch his eye, and he said,

"Hey, I'm gonna need your help with something."

Cam now tried not to look relieved as he got up. He looked at Daniel's now disappointed aunts, and said, "Well, Ma'am and... Ma'am, it's been an honour."

As he and Cam walked through the crowds of guests to their other halves, Cam patted Daniel on the back. The Major said quietly, "I owe you one, big time, brother."

Daniel smirked as he replied, "Think nothing of it. At least Tess won't be walking around like a bear with a sore head now." As they reached Sam and Tessa, Daniel said quietly, "You've just got to be creative when my aunts grab you."

A relieved looking Tessa mouthed a thank you to her brother as she dragged Cam off so they could be alone for once. Daniel rubbed his whimpering daughter's back and whispered, "Sorry. Daddy won't do that again."

He kissed her cheek before passing Maddie to Sam. He kissed Sam, and said, "I feel kind of jealous. Mitchell's getting most of my aunts' attention now. I guess that's what happens in a mostly female family."

Sam reached up to touch his cheek affectionately. She said a touch cheekily, "You'll always have my attention." She reached for his hand as a grizzling Maddie took to gnawing on her own fist. "Come on, act like I'm dragging you off somewhere otherwise you're taking Cam's place."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

In a secluded area of the garden, Cam lie on his back in the grass. He had one hand under his head, some of his shirt buttons opened to reveal a toned chest. His other hand was stroking Tessa's long brown hair as she gazed up through the tree canopy at the sky just like him. She said with a dreamy smile,

"You should have seen it, Cam. We should go there on vacation when you come back from Virginia."

He hummed non-committally as he lazily played with her hair. She frowned a little and then turned over so that she was lying on her front, on top of him. He became alert, knowing just how unpredictable she could be. She asked, her gaze intense,

"What the hell's up with you? You haven't said more than two words to me since we left the house."

He glared back at her and asked, "What's up with _you_?"

"Don't turn this around on me, _Major Mitchell_. What's up?"

He looked as though he was going to make an argument of it, but then he looked away from her for a moment. When he looked back at her, there was a wistful longing in his eyes. He didn't need to say anything. Tessa's gaze dropped reluctantly, and she said,

"Oh. _That_ again."

Cam touched her chin, gently lifting her face so that her gaze met his once again. He said, "Tess, I don't see what the big problem is. You know, every time I think of my grandma, I remember the things she used to say about people like us. _Ain't any use buying the cow if you're getting the milk for free_. I don't want people talking about us like that. I don't want anyone talking about _you_ like that."

Tessa said angrily, "Screw your granny. Screw all of them. I don't care – why do you?" She punched his shoulder aggressively. "And what's this about comparing me to a cow? What are you trying to say?"

His gaze hardened again. "Baby, it's allegorical and you know it."

She sighed and her gaze dropping to his chest. She said with a shrug, "I don't want to get married. I know you love me and you know that I love you – why do we need a piece of paper to prove that? This whole marriage thing changes things too much." She momentarily met his gaze. "I know I see Danny a lot more now, but still, him and Sam have that special thing going on. It's like I've lost a part of my brother." She smiled briefly. "I like Sam, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I wish things were like they were before." She frowned again, determined not to cry in front of him. She said, "You're pissed at me again, aren't you?"

He sighed and said, "Not at you. Look, I know how it feels... what you feel about Jackson. I was like that when Sam moved in with him. I was already feeling like shit cos I was in Iraq when she got laid up with all those burns... and things just moved so quickly when I came back."

"But you never grew up with Sam. I grew up with Daniel... I... I looked up at and to him for all of my childhood. You don't understand how it feels to lose someone like that."

Cam stroked her cheek and asked, "Then, why can't _we_ tie the knot? It won't change the way Sam and Jackson are."

"But it'll change us. It'll change everything." Tessa sat up, the archaeologist now visibly upset. She said, "I like the way things are – why do you want to change that? You don't need a piece of paper to validate what we have."

He gazed at her back for a long moment, before sitting up behind her. He reached for her hand and her gaze reluctantly followed their hands. He said, "Tess, this isn't just tradition to me. This is me wanting to spend the rest of my life with you."

She sniffed, and then angrily brushed away tears that fell. She said, "We can do that without getting dressed up, Cam."

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. He then said, "There's another reason. I really don't want to put this on the table."

She looked back at him fearfully, and he refused to meet her gaze. Looking down at the grass, he said, "I'm a serving soldier, Tessa. If anything should..." He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. He continued, "... if anything happens, I want to make sure you're provided for. I can't go back out there knowing that if I can't come back..."

He gaped in shock when she suddenly slapped him across the face. Furious as well as crying, she said, "Don't you dare! Don't you dare say it!" She hid her face in her hands. Drying her tears, she then looked at him accusingly. She said, "You bastard."

He tried to touch her but she angrily brushed away any contact. She was about to get up, to storm away when he did it first. She watched as he angrily stormed away from her, through the rest of the garden. Now alone, Tessa started crying again, and she angrily grabbed handfuls of grass, pounding them on the ground as she fought the urge to scream.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam got up from the bed in hers and Daniel's room in the house. She pulled his shirt around her and went to peer out of the window on hearing a door slam shut. She raised her eyebrows on seeing something, and she turned back to a half-naked Daniel who was dozing on the bed. She hissed,

"Daniel!"

He stirred, and then woke up with a start. Without his glasses, he squinted towards the daylight coming through the curtains. On seeing Sam, he said, sitting up, "Sam? What's wrong?"

Sam looked out of the window again, and then back at him. She said, "I think Cam and Tess have had another blow out. He's just stormed out of the house and down the street."

Instantly alert, he got out of bed and joined her out of the window with his glasses. On seeing what Sam had seen, he threw on a t-shirt. Sam, worried, said, "Daniel, what are you going to do?"

He didn't reply as he pulled on a sweater, and she grabbed him by the shoulders, stopping him from leaving the room. She said, gazing at him intensely, "Don't go. Cam is the biggest hot-head known to Man – he's just going away to cool down before he harms anyone... and you know what they're fighting about... _again_."

His jaw clenched tensely, and he said, "If he's hurt her, he'd better run because I'm going to find him."

Sam sighed in despair as Daniel walked out. She put a hand on her face as she quietly grumbled about her husband's over-protectiveness when it came to his sister. She then threw some clothes on and called, "Daniel! Wait! I'm coming with you!"


	3. Chapter 3

"At least he isn't hitting anyone. I tell you, that boy will stop at nothing to protect his sister. I should be proud, but it scares me sometimes."

Sam nodded in reply to what Claire had said. The Captain looked out of the kitchen window to see Daniel and Tessa in the distance. They were sitting on a bench, and he looked a lot calmer than he had been just moments previously. Sam looked mildly concerned as she tried to imagine what words of comfort or pearls of wisdom he was imparting to his sister. With a quite sigh, she turned away from the window and sat down opposite Claire at the table.

Sam said, glancing away, "You're not mad at Cam?"

Claire shrugged and smiled wistfully. She said, "Sam, I was young once. Why do you think Tessa is the way she is? Sometimes I wonder whether she and Cameron are too much alike. It's how my mom used to say... fire and fire just makes more fire."

Sam put her elbows on the table as she rested her chin on her hands. She said pensively, "Somehow, I don't think Daniel will be quite as forgiving as you are. I don't want to be torn between my husband and my surrogate brother."

Claire waved dismissively as she sat back in her chair. She said, "Oh, don't you worry about that." She smiled warmly as her gaze grew distant for a brief moment. "Mercifully... Danny is a lot like his father too." Claire reached over the table to touch Sam's hand, and she said brightly, "Now tell me, how are you finding it going back to work?"

Sam nodded pensively as she thought back over the past year since she had given birth to Madeleine. She said, "It's been good." She nodded again and then looked uncomfortable. "I didn't want to go back at first."

Claire nodded in agreement. She sat up straight in her chair, and said, "Oh yeah, I totally hear ya there. At least now there isn't as big a stigma as there used to be when it came to working mothers. Being honest, we had little choice when Danny was little – our work took us everywhere. We tried to settle down more after Tessa was born, but..." She chuckled. "That didn't work out as we'd hoped... but it _worked_." She looked at Sam. "So how did you rationalise it to yourself?"

Sam appeared puzzled, not sure what Claire was talking about. Claire continued, "Despite times and attitudes changing, there is that natural instinct a mother has where they feel some guilt or nervousness about returning to work."

Sam replied hesitantly at first. She said, "Well... I figured I'm out there protecting Maddie." She smiled slightly. "I'm lucky to have Daniel though. He was really helpful in the early days when I would come back from work an hour in, just to make sure that Maddie was okay. The boys at the department have been quite insightful about how they manage things."

"Well, it's always easy for the married men in this society."

"You're telling me." Sam laughed, and said, "... although not when Daniel has to change Maddie's diaper and she decides to wee on him."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

In his study, Melburn looked up from his book on hearing something. Putting the book down, he looked out of the first floor window to see Cam outside. The Major was dodging a sprinkler which had been set off, and he looked grumpily down at his clothes to see that the water had managed to wet them to some extent. Noticing that he was hesitant to re-enter the house, Melburn opened the window and called down,

"Cam, come on up here a sec."

He tried to remain stern despite feeling some amusement on noticing that Cam's discomfort had increased on being summoned by his father-in-law. But the younger man didn't hesitate as he walked towards the house.

Melburn sat back down in his seat and picked up his book again. A little time later, there was a knock at his door. Melburn put the book down and cleared his throat. He called,

"Enter."

The door opened, and Cam stood in the doorway; the Major showing only a fraction of the nervousness he felt. He said, "Doctor Jackson, you wanted to see me?"

Melburn nodded in the direction of the chair on the other side of the desk from him. The archaeologist got up and walked to a polished wooden cabinet and opened the doors. As Cam took a seat, Melburn poured some golden brown liquid into a glass, and turned to Cam with the bottle. Melburn said,

"Brandy?" Melburn peered into the cabinet at the row of bottles. "There's also some of Nick's schnapps... Scottish whiskey... gin... oh, and some Chardonnay."

Cam shook his head and said, "No thanks."

"You sure? You're not on duty – I'm sure it's okay for you to drink."

Cam shook his head again. He said, "Thanks."

"Very well." Melburn closed the cabinet doors and put the glass on the desk.

He sat back down and Cam said, bemused, "I didn't think you drank much, Sir."

Melburn shrugged. "I don't. _Much_. I just keep it away from Claire. She already talks a mile a minute." He glanced down at his glass. "I miss Nick. As much as he hated me, we were drinking buddies by the end." Melburn mentally shook himself and then looked at Cam directly. He said,

"Well, young man... the Jackson grapevine has been shaking again."

Cam remained immobile, his face emotionless as he awaited potential abuse from the father of his girlfriend. Instead, however, Melburn said, "Look, I'm not mad at you."

Cam frowned a little, wondering it was some sort of trap. He said sceptically, "You're _not_?"

Melburn shook his head, and said, "I'm not." He smiled slightly. "Why would I be? I like you and Tess likes you, and you want to marry her." He sighed. "I know you've got some traditional values in there... but don't let that come in between you and Tess. She's as bad as her mother in some respects." He took a sip of brandy and sat back in his chair. "She'll come around eventually."

Cam finally let his guard down, realising that Melburn wasn't going to kill him. The Major said, looking sad, "I don't see what the problem is. I don't want anyone bad mouthing her."

"Is that your only reason?"

Cam shook his head and looked down at his hands. As he fidgeted, he said, "No. I... I love her, and I can't imagine life without her. I just want her to understand that."

Melburn smiled, partly because of the brandy's effect on him, and a much bigger _partly_ because of something else. He said, "She'll come around, son. Just hang in there... and try not to get annoyed, because you'll get annoyed, and she'll get annoyed... and you won't get anything sorted out because you won't speak to one another." Melburn chuckled softly. "How do you think I've managed to stay married to Tessa's mom for the past forty years? You just have to know when to back down... because she sure as hell won't learn if you don't."

Cam nodded and then appeared thoughtful. He then looked at Melburn, and said, "Actually, Sir, if that offer's still open..."

Melburn laughed quietly as he got up. He remarked, "This is what we get for mixing with those Ballard women." A hand on the cabinet, he turned back to Cam. He said, "Don't worry so much about Tess. Claire never said 'yes' the first time I asked... or..." He frowned a little as he tried to remember something. "... or the second, third, and possibly even fourth and fifth times."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

In the dark, while the rest of the Jacksons slept, a bedroom door opened. Tessa tiptoed out of the room, glancing this way and that. She then carefully made her way along the landing and down the stairs, wincing at each creak and protest from the staircase of the old house. She only realised that she had been holding her breath when she stepped off the last step.

She took a deep breath, and silently chastised herself for being so nervous. She looked incredulously at the torch in her hand and shook her head a little in disbelief. Putting it down, she then crept along the marble floor, making her way into the living room.

She stood in the doorway for a moment as her eyes adjusted to the dark. She then saw a tall dark figure on the sofa, its feet hanging off one end. She took a moment to watch him, waiting for her racing heart to slow down again. She then quietly walked towards the sofa, well aware that the slightest sound could have him leaping up and pinning her against a wall before he even woke up.

She grimly thought of one such occasion when that had happened, and he had subsequently bought her flowers for a whole month to apologise. She tried not to smile at the thought of his overwhelming guilt. It had been pretty scary despite the quite possibly far scarier things she had experienced before and since in her life; such as, skirmishes with bandits while on excavations in rural communities abroad.

She reached the sofa and kneeled in front of it. She looked down at him in the dark, debating whether to wake him or not.

She almost fell over in surprise when he then reached up to touch her cheek. Now annoyed, she smacked his shoulder and said, "You could have said."

Cam remarked, sounding amused, "What, and miss the mental image of you getting pissed at me again?" He sat up and grumbled. "We need some light... I'm not talking to the dark."

He switched a floor lamp on, and they both squinted as their eyes adjusted to the sudden influx of light. When she could see properly again, she saw him sat on the sofa, a blanket around his waist, his hair tousled from lying on the sofa. He was wearing a grey Air Force Academy t-shirt which she also wore on occasion. She hid a smile at that thought, and then found that she couldn't smile when she realised that he wasn't touching her like he normally did when they were alone together.

She looked down at her hands, now suddenly feeling quite shy as her long brown hair hung around her face. She didn't know what to say or what to do in order for them to progress from this moment on, rather than return to arguing. She looked up at Cam when he stroked her cheek, and then she looked away again, now feeling shame.

She had seen the pain in his eyes, and she knew that he was struggling not to give into his natural urge to give her a piece of his mind. It felt wrong that he would do that for her. A tear rolled down her cheek but he didn't notice as he took to playing with her hair.

Tessa said, a little harshly, "Look, I'm sorry, Cam." She sighed as she glanced at him, and then her head dropped so that she was looking downwards again. She said, "I've never been this close to a guy before." She laughed a little, a self-depreciating tone to it. "I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with it."

Cam's caresses stopped as he withdrew his hand as though he had touched fire. He asked cautiously, "What are you saying, Tess?"

She said, feeling upset, "That I don't know what the hell I'm doing any more."

"You know, if getting married is freaking you out that much... we don't have to. I'll just punch more people out if they say anything about you."

She laughed although she still felt down. Her eyes still down as well, she said, "I guess I'm too damn scared of change to want things different." She looked up him and said, "The problem now is that even if you agree that we can be as we were, there's still going to be the big M word hanging between us. I don't want that pressure."

"But, baby, it won't change a thing, I promise." He smirked. "Even if we're a hundred and everything's gone down south... I'd still wanna be with you."

She chuckled softly and said, "Yeah, thanks for that mental image." She looked at him with all seriousness. "I'm being selfish here, Cam. You're the only guy I ever want to be with. I just find it hard making that leap, you know?"

He shrugged and said, "Hey, it's not a problem. I'll still be here when you feel ready to go jumping off those kinds of bridges with me." He smiled a little as he touched her cheek. "Can I at least get a smile out of you now?"

She smiled, shyly at first, before she nudged his hand away. She said, "Dude, I'll jump off most bridges with you."

"That thought is comforting... and disturbing too on some levels." He offered his hand to her. "Now come and keep this country boy warm before he freezes to death."

"You could always come back to bed... I'm not as pissed at you any more."

He snorted, and remarked drily, "Another comforting thought."

She reached for his hand as they got to their feet. She retorted, "I aim to please."

He laughed quietly and said, "I don't think your folks would appreciate hanky panky right here anyhow."

A sceptical look on her face, she was about to lead him away, when he stopped her. In the semi-darkness, he slowly kissed her, for once not taking the caress for granted. He then rested his forehead against hers, his hands either side of her head. He kissed her again, and then said,

"I love you, baby."

She smiled as she kissed him, and she said, "Love you too, babe."


	4. Chapter 4

In a psychiatrist's office, a woman with dark blonde curly hair was seated in a large black leather chair. She nervously fiddled with a piece of tissue until it practically exploded in a quiet and contained burst of tissue fibre. She pushed her hair back over her shoulders, some thinly veiled aggression apparent in her movements. She then looked at the prim looking brunette seated opposite her. She said, in an English accent,

"I... I don't know." She appeared to be choking down a sob. "I guess it started when _he_ left me for a fire fighter."

The brown-haired woman briefly rifled through the notepad in her lap. She said, concerned, "Oh, you mean Daniel, don't you? Your last boyfriend?"

The blonde woman's gaze dropped to the floor, and she said, "Yeah. Him." She angrily ripped up the tissue fragments which she still held. "I've known him for years! We... we met during our time at Chicago when he was doing his linguistics PhD."

The other woman frowned briefly and said, "Um, sorry, Sarah, didn't you say he was a psychologist?" She checked through her notes again. "As I recall, albeit sketchily I must admit, and..." She looked up. "... I am sorry for that. It's been a tough week." She cleared her throat as she found the right page. "Right, yes, Daniel is a psychologist."

Sarah frowned and then asked, "What did I say?"

"You said you'd met him while he was doing his PhD in linguistics."

Sarah nodded and said, "No, that's right. He's got 3 PhDs. Psychology, linguistics, and archaeology."

The psychiatrist raised an eyebrow in surprise, and said, "_Really_? That's quite impressive."

Sarah tightly twisted the tissue fragments in her hands. She laughed humourlessly, and said, "Yes, _quite_. Quite the impressive is Daniel... he gets all the girls." Her head twitched as she resumed shredding the tissue. "All of them... including fire fighters."

"Sorry... this probably isn't the best time... but he isn't called 'Daniel Jackson', by any chance, is he?"

Sarah looked up at her harshly and then troubled. She nodded, twitching again. She said, "Yes. Do you know him?"

The other woman nodded and said, smiling, "I did. I was doing my political science PhD at the same time."

Sarah appeared surprised. She said, "Did you..."

The woman shook her head quickly. "No, no. He lived in the same dorm for a couple of months. We had a couple of study dates, but it was nothing. I've seen him at conferences since... but I don't think he recognised me."

Sarah frowned as she attempted to gauge the other woman's words. The woman shook her head again and said, "Sorry about that. Where were we?"

Sarah said, looking suspicious, "I'm sure he would have mentioned an Elizabeth Sheppard. I knew of all of his friends."

Elizabeth appeared awkward momentarily. She then said, "My maiden name is 'Weir'."

Sarah shook her head. "Nope. Still not ringing bells."

"... which goes to show that it was nothing." Elizabeth glanced at her notes again, slipping back into her calm, professional voice. "So, these feelings arose once Daniel had left you? Can you tell me why you felt like that? What brought it all out?"

Sarah looked down at the tissue fragments in her hands – they were now too small to rip. Her head still twitching, she put the tissue down the side of her seat. She then started pulling at the sleeve of her cardigan.

Sarah said, agitated, "He betrayed me. Everything we had – everything we did. All those years... never once did he ask me to move in with him or take me to his parents. Never. And why? _She_ moved in with him within weeks... and he took her to his parents. What did I do?" Sarah suddenly looked vulnerable as she continued to pull apart her sleeve. She wept as she said, "What did I do? He was the only man whom I was ever happy with."

A concerned looking Elizabeth gently hushed her. The psychiatrist said calmly, "Sometimes relationships don't work out. There are lots of reasons. From what you've already told me, I can't see how any of it would be your fault. Perhaps you were too scared it would end, that you didn't see the warning signs."

Sarah stared at the psychiatrist, and she frowned. She said falteringly, "So... I wasn't good enough for him?"

A shocked Elizabeth said, "No, no, I'm not saying that. No..." She sighed. "You admitted yourself that had you and Daniel not got together again since your college days, you might have been leading a different life right now."

Sarah looked up at the ceiling wistfully. She said softly, "I could have been in Egypt with Steve. Oh... Steve." She looked directly at Elizabeth. "You know, he wanted to show me the Valley of the Queens. And I turned him down because Daniel offered more."

Elizabeth watched as Sarah looked off into the distance, the archaeologist appearing to mumble to herself. Elizabeth leaned forward a little and touched Sarah's hand, bringing her back to the present. The psychiatrist said, mildly concerned, "Sarah, we'll talk more another day. You need to rest."

Elizabeth looked up as the door opened and two porters entered the room. She nodded, and they flanked Sarah, one of them fitting handcuffs around her wrists. A perturbed Elizabeth asked,

"Is that really necessary, boys? She's not going to do anything."

They hauled a distracted Sarah to her feet. One of them said, "Not taking any chances, Ma'am... not after she assaulted three other patients last week."

Elizabeth watched, troubled, as they hauled a day-dreaming Sarah out of her office. Once the door had closed again, she sighed, leaning back in her chair. Looking up at the ceiling for a moment, she exhaled and then turned towards the phone. Picking it up, she dialled a number, and then waited as it rang on the other side. After a long moment, she smiled in relief when someone picked up. She said, "Hey John, it's me. Let's go out to dinner – I've just finished my last appointment. It was that wedding crasher woman... and you're not going to believe who her former boyfriend is."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

In Colorado Springs, back in their apartment, Daniel emerged from the bathroom a towel around his waist. He found Sam sat at a window, the Captain looking out as she idly stroked Isis, who sat in her lap. He quietly walked past them, not wanting to disturb either of them – especially seeing as Isis seemed to be enjoying herself. The thought made him smile as he entered his bedroom to get dressed.

Dressed, he came back into the living room area, and he bent down to kiss Sam. As he went to get a chair, she smiled, and remarked, "You smell nice."

He smiled, slightly embarrassed as he pulled up a seat next to hers. He reached over to smooth Isis' back and the cat purred as it rolled over on Sam's lap. Sam laughed at this, and with a happy sigh, she leaned against him. He slipped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her hair. He said,

"How's Maddie?"

She closed her eyes as she savoured the warmth of his body. She said quietly, "Out like a lamp. It's just as well Cam and Tess didn't stay for long otherwise she would never have gone to sleep."

Sam opened her eyes to as Isis leapt from her lap. She and Daniel watched the cat walk away, its tail high. They laughed, and he remarked, "She always liked making a noticeable exit."

She chuckled as she placed her hand on his thigh. He placed his hand over hers, interlocking his fingers with hers. Looking down at their hands, she asked, "Daniel, is this how you envisioned married life?"

He frowned for a moment and then looked down at her, confused by her question. He said, "What do you mean?"

She shrugged and said, "Just being able to look out of the window together and talking about anything, or just not talking at all."

He remarked with a smile, "Well, I for one expected more arguments. I'm disappointed in that respect."

She laughed, and he looked down at her again. He asked, "What's brought all this on?"

She shook her head, her gaze fixed on their hands. She said, "It's nothing. It's just that Mom was asking when we were going to get a house. I said we were fine, but it made me think... an apartment isn't really a great place for bringing up a child."

He rested his cheek against her hair for a moment, a contemplative look on his face. He then said, "I've thought about it too." He let her go and she sat back in her own seat, her hand still on his thigh. He continued, "It's not like either of us are going to do any major travelling any time soon, and it would be nice to have some place to call our own."

She nodded in agreement, and said, "The extra space would be good. A garden would be good for Maddie."

He smirked as he added, "And your plants." He looked around at the room, at the plants on various ledges, and the furnishings. He shrugged. "And besides, we do have quite a bit of money put away. I only got soft furnishings here since you moved in."

She laughed and retorted, "Just be glad I'm not Shauna... the amount of money she spends every month, T has to work overtime to pay her card bills."

"Well, I guess it means going out on the house-hunt again. Time's a-wastin', Captain-Doctor."

She leaned back in her chair and watched him, a peaceful smile on her face. She said, "It's like everything's coming together again, isn't it?" Her smile faltered. "Although I wish I could change my career like you... but I'm too old to go back to the Air Force. I guess it would have been a little easier before I had Maddie."

He looked at her in concern. He said, "Sam, if you want to go back, we can sort things out. I've already talked to Jack about it. He and Sara have offered to help out more. I could cut back my hours at UCCS."

She shook her head and said, "No, I made my choice a long time ago, Daniel. I love flying, but I want something more than that. Cam knows someone who could help me get started up as a flight instructor. I think I could maybe do that on the weekends, and probably teach."

He asked, surprised, "You're quitting the fire department?"

"I've thought about it." She frowned a little as she looked out of the window. She then said, "Don't you think sometimes that this isn't how things are meant to be? Like we're just making do with what we have? Like there is something more out there – something much more."

He looked back at her, confused. "I'm not sure I get what you mean."

"Sometimes it feels like we all should be doing something else."

He slowly nodded, and asked, "Have you been having those dreams again?" He shrugged and said, "It's probably your subconscious mind telling you that you need to do something."

"Hmm, perhaps."

He said, still looking at her, "It's natural to want to expand one's horizons. Sometimes things in real life trigger those feelings." He looked down at their hands briefly. "Like getting close to Nick again. It made me realise where I belong." He chuckled softly. "It also means that I now see Tess at work too, but hey..."

"I guess I could teach too..." She suddenly appeared sheepish. "I've already applied to the Air Force Academy, and to UCCS."

Surprised, he looked at her. He said, "What?"

As she struggled to find words, he continued, "I'm not mad. You just never said anything."

She shrugged. "It was just speculative, really. I don't really expect anything to come of it. It's just been such a long time since I did anything directly related to academic physics." She half-smiled. "Training exercises at work don't really count." She looked down at their hands and then at him. She said, "And, well, Probie's finished his probation, so..."

He blinked and said, confused, "Why do you still call him 'Probie'? There are other probationary fire fighters at the department."

She shrugged and replied with a smile, "It kinda stuck on Jonas; I'm not sure why."

"Yeah, even Val calls him that now, I noticed." He sighed and said as he got up, "Anyway, wifey, let's make the effort to go to bed before Jack or Janet comes over."

As the phone next to the door rang, an exasperated Daniel dropped his head in defeat. Sam laughed and said, "Yeah, good luck with that."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Tessa stifled a yawn, and then frowned as she glanced at the clock. She glanced again, this time for a little longer, and then she looked at the door of the apartment. Sighing softly, she went back to the papers scattered on the table in front of her. She scribbled on a few of them and read others, holding some of them up as she looked thoughtful.

Glancing at the clock again, she threw down her pen and muttered, annoyed. She got up and peeked in the bedroom, to see a drawstring bag at the foot of the bed. The bag appeared to have been half-packed, some belongings still on the bed, waiting to be packed. She growled angrily and slammed the door shut as she returned to her makeshift desk in the living area.

She looked as though she was going to write again when, suddenly looking bored, she grabbed the papers. Putting them into a rough pile, she shoved them in her bag, and tossed it into a cupboard. She flopped down onto the sofa, her hands over her eyes as she began to cry. She grabbed cushions in frustration and threw them across the room, screaming as she did so.

Now spent, she curled up on the sofa, her head on the armrest. She sniffed, her eyes puffy from her tears. She dried her tears with the edge of her pyjama sleeve, and then closed her eyes.

Some time later, when she heard the sound of a key turning in the lock, she sat up. Her anger returned and as Cam opened the door, she threw a cushion at him. Cam quickly caught it, holding it in front of his chest as though he was protecting himself from further attacks. He closed the door behind him and looked at her angrily.

He said, "What the hell?!"

Furious, she shouted, "Where the hell were you?! I rang you and sent you messages!"

Putting the cushion down, he retorted, "You're not my Mom! Why do I have to check in with you every hour? I told you I was out with the guys!" He glanced at the clock and then said coldly, "... and if my memory serves me correctly, I'm actually home early." He continued sarcastically, "'cos you know, I thought that maybe I'd do something nice for my gal the night before I ship out."

"Why do you have to go anyway!?" The anger in her voice faded as she turned away from him. She then spoke in a quieter tone of voice. She said, "You're always going somewhere."

His anger went on seeing her upset, and he sat down next to her. Holding her in his arms, he rested his chin on her head. He spoke in a calmer tone of voice than previously. He said, "Look, this is what I do, darlin'. This is all I've ever dreamed of since me and my pa watched the STS-1 launch in '81. It's my life."

More upset than angry, she asked, "But what about me?"

His jaw clenched in anger, but he forced himself to remain calm. He said, "Don't make me choose, baby... because I can't. I love flying and I love you." He shrugged slowly as he looked up at the ceiling for a moment. "I can't imagine life without either."

He hugged her tightly and kissed her head. Tears in his eyes, he said, "I'll be back soon though. Six months are gonna fly by."

"Don't lie to me, Cameron Mitchell."

"Hey, slow fly-by's still a fly-by."

She looked up at him, for once not angry or accusing. She appeared sad as she said, "It's not like you're just going to the next state or whatever. You're going to Iraq. I know the odds, Cam. I know them."

Sad too, he said, "So why don't we make tonight something that gives those odds a kick up the ass?" He tenderly kissed her on the forehead. "I'll be fine... it's not like it's serious _serious_."

"But..."

He dried her tears, and said, "No, buts, Doctor Jackson." He picked her up in his arms and remarked bashfully, "Okay, maybe a couple."


	5. Chapter 5

It was early morning, the sun peeking over the horizon and slowly burning away the morning fog and darkness. In a military airfield, there were hundreds of men and women in grey camouflage uniforms. Each were saying goodbye to their friends and family; the field the scene of many tearful and emotional farewells as the airmen prepared to leave for their tour. Behind them were a row of black military helicopters which loomed above the crowds.

In the midst of the crowds, Cam held onto a crying Tessa. He whispered, "Come on, baby, you're gonna start me off now." Still holding her, he gazed at her, her head bowed. He gently tilted her face upwards, and she reluctantly met his gaze, her cheeks wet with tears. He said, gazing at her intensely, "You've got to do your job and I've got to do mine."

She sniffed and looked away again. She said, "I know. It's just hard."

He smiled slightly even though his heart was breaking at the prospect of leaving her. He said, "I know." He stroked her cheek slowly, as though making a memory of how she felt beneath his touch. He said, "You take care of yourself, okay? Our friends are there for you."

She nodded, still upset. She said, "You too."

When he let her go, she reached behind her neck and unclasped her necklace. She placed it in his hand, and gave him a look that suggested that he would be better off not refusing it. He nodded, a solemn understanding in that gesture.

She lightly punched him in the chest as she tried to get a hold of her emotions. She said, "I want that necklace back safe and sound, and I want you just as safe with it. You hear?"

He casually saluted her and retorted, "Aye-aye, Ma'am."

A bugle sounded and they looked around to see the airmen slowly disentangling themselves from their loved ones and retreating to the helicopters. Armed guards were now silently encouraging the civilians to leave the airfield. Cam turned back to Tessa and kissed her. He said,

"I gotta go now, baby. I love you."

Trembling with tears, she watched him walk away from her, his bag slung over his shoulder. Just as a military policeman got her and the crowd around her to leave, she caught sight of him. He was putting his grey camouflage hat on next to a helicopter, and he was looking back at her.

Outside of the wire perimeter, she looked around as helicopter engines were being started. Rotors sliced the air thunderously and the tarmac seemed to vibrate. She covered her ears with her hands and looked up as one by one, the helicopters took flight. As military policemen escorted her away, she continued to look up, seeing the helicopters slowly turn into black dots as they flew towards the horizon. And with that, she felt as though a part of her had gone with the helicopters, never to return.

Away from the field, as the crowds dispersed in the car park, Tessa suddenly felt numb. Somehow, she managed to find her way back to her brother's car, or somehow her sister-in-law and her brother had found her; she wasn't entirely sure. All she knew was that suddenly they were both hugging her, and she was dimly aware that Sam had been crying.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam emerged from the locker-room at the fire department. She had just changed into her departmental uniform, which consisted of a light blue half-shirt with rank insignia and logos, and black trousers. She was in the process of tying her hair up – something which she occasionally forgot to do since she had let her hair grow. As she was doing so, Jack walked by – the Chief Officer wearing similar attire, except that his shirt was white. He stopped on seeing her and approached her.

"Hey, Carter."

Sam finished tying her hair up, and she smiled at him. She said, "Hey, Chief."

Jack paused in surprise and said, "Chief? What happened to Colonel?"

She shrugged and said, "Well, Sir, you retired from the Air Force a long time ago... figured I was setting a bad example for the probies. And besides, why am I suddenly 'Carter' again? I've been married a year."

"Not like you to care," he muttered grumpily. He then said with a nod, "Hey, how did this morning go?"

The two of them walked down a corridor together. She sighed, and said, "About as much as to be expected. Cam went... and Tessa wouldn't stop crying. The first big one is always a tough one. I remember when he got stationed in Afghanistan just after he first moved in with me. It was tough being alone again."

He nodded in agreement. "Well, that boy's good company. I'll bet Shrink Monkey's crying too."

She smiled to humour him. She then said, "Sir, I want to talk you about something..." They walked through a doorway and emerged into a large garage area in which there were several fire engines parked. "It's quite important."

He grimaced, somehow knowing what she wanted to say. He said awkwardly, "Can't it wait? I mean..."

He almost breathed a sigh of relief when the department's bell rang loudly, interrupting everyone and everything present. As fire fighters rushed around, leaving their meals to get ready, T ran past them. He said, not stopping,

"Fire on Main and Fourth... big one. Reports are saying it's a three-fer."

As they all ran to various fire engines, Jack remarked, "Saved by the bell!" He climbed into an engine, moving up to make room for Sam. As she closed the door, he said, "Save it for later, Carter... believe me when I say that you'll miss this when it's gone."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sarah emerged from a room in what appeared to be a medical facility. She looked behind her through the open door to see the prone and badly hurt figures of two porters on the floor. She felt really bad for the briefest of moments but her fevered mind rationalised her actions as a necessary evil. She closed the door quietly and then made her way down the corridor, occasionally backing into a wall on hearing the faintest of sounds.

She reached a door and tried it, only to find it locked. She swore quietly, and then she frowned as she remembered something. She looked up for a moment and then smiled slightly. She pressed a series of buttons on the security lock. She frowned again, this time annoyed when it didn't seem to work. However, a moment later, a loud beep sounded, and she tried the door, finding it unlocked.

She threw herself against the wall on hearing some people. When they rounded a corner, she resumed stalking the halls, hesitantly at first. She held her breath until she went through another security door, and then she quickly ran down flights of stairs until she reached a delivery entrance. She struggled to lift herself up onto a high window ledge, where she then had to hold onto the sides of the windows to get her balance when she almost fell.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she managed to stop herself from falling. She then wrenched the old window open, flexing her hand at the pain afterwards. Managing to get it open wide enough to let a person through, she uncomfortably climbed through. She tumbled to the ground outside with a grunt.

Breathing heavily through the pain, she crawled through the undergrowth and the soil. She was vaguely aware of something warm trickling down her forehead and the taste of iron in her mouth. She frequently spat blood out but paid it little concern as she desperately fled the facility.

When she had crawled some distance, she turned to look over her shoulder. Lights had come on and there were people outside. Knowing she had to be quick, she disappeared into the surrounding forest, desperately trying not to be caught. She needed to go back to Colorado Springs – she had to. This wasn't how her life was meant to be.


	6. Chapter 6

Tessa lie awake, just as she had done for the lonely nights since Cam had left the country. She wasn't alone however. She lie in between her sister-in-law and her brother in their bed, their arms protectively around her as they held her close to them. They had helped her through her lowest moments, and, not for the first time, she felt guilty. She should have been back in her own apartment; not intruding on her brother and his wife. But they had insisted, and if she was going to be honest with herself, she didn't like to be alone. Still feeling awkward about it, she thought that at least it wasn't a daily arrangement.

Nights such as this when sleep appeared to have left with her boyfriend, she took to thinking about things. Initially, thoughts centred around work to distract her from the pain. But then when that became even more difficult to focus on, she relented and thought about him. That had resulted in nightmares sometimes when she thought of her deepest fears, and she had been inconsolable for hours.

She was past that now. Of course, those fears were still present but perhaps she had become desensitised by the isolation. Lately, her thoughts had turned to her relationship with Cam, and how it was different from previous ones. She had had many lovers in her life, but she couldn't recall a single one whom she had let get _this_ close to her. Plenty had had to leave for work purposes, but she had never been this torn up.

Perhaps it was related to the bombshell he kept trying to drop on her. He wanted to get married. Usually relationships ended by this point, for her – well, _before_ that point. When men looked to get too close, she left them. But she had let him get this close and she didn't quite know why. Then again, love wasn't a logical feeling – it was a completely irrational, illogical feeling based on nuances and the abstract, and which led people to fall for other people for completely stupid reasons.

But she wasn't quite sure that falling for his unique sense of humour or his accent was _that_ stupid. She smiled slightly as she stared into the darkness – they were only two of the many things that she loved about him. Of course, there were things about him that drove her up the wall, but truth be told, she rather liked arguing with him. They both had the same temper and sometimes it felt good to shout and insult him without worrying that he would get upset and leave her... although he usually gave as good as he got or much more.

She looked at where her brother was in the dark, feeling his slow breathing against her shoulder. He had married Sam so quickly. She wasn't going to say '_too_ quickly', because, well, she did like her sister-in-law, and Sam was perfect for her brother. But what had driven Daniel to marry her so quickly? Tessa had met Sarah and other previous girlfriends of his – he had had long relationships with them and maybe one or two had got to the moving in stage... but then they had fizzled out.

However, his and Sam's relationship seemed to have been a whirlwind. She had moved in almost immediately, and he had taken her home.

She suddenly grinned, more out of sudden realisation than anything else. She had taken Cam home with her. Okay, so she had taken other boyfriends home, but none had seemed like part of the family before – not as quickly... but Cam did. Her grin vanished just as suddenly as it had appeared. What had she done? Her eyes surged with tears as she realised what a mistake she had made. Now he was seven thousand miles away, fighting a war in the desert, and she couldn't tell him what an idiot she had been.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"No, no, listen up... you aren't doing that, okay? Not after everything we've been through as a team; not after everything _you've_ been through. You can't just pack up and quit like that! Where's the loyalty!?"

Sam was sat in between Jack and Jonas on the sofa at home. T, on the other hand, was pacing the floor in front of her, angrily muttering to himself and anyone who would listen. She soothed Maddie who had begun to whimper, and she held the little girl on her shoulder. Jack looked from T to Sam, and he said drily,

"Well, the big guy has spoken... saved me a job too." Jack looked concerned as he said, "You sure this is what you wanna do? I mean, you're gonna miss us and you're sure as hell gonna miss the action."

A disappointed-looking Jonas said, "I thought we were going to be a team forever... it felt like it."

T stopped pacing as he stood in front of Sam, the former looking as though he was ready to pound some sense into her. His gaze then softened, and he said, "Why you gotta break up a good thing, girl? You can't break up the gang... Probie here might get ideas of his own, and then, you know, Jack will finally listen to his missus and retire, and where do you think that's gonna leave me? I don't wanna do this without you."

Jack snapped, "Hey! I'm not retiring any time soon. Sara knows that. In fact, you know, it's not even up to her."

T snorted derisively. He said, "Come on, there's no women present..." He glanced at Sam. "... except for our honorary guy here. You know our wives own our asses."

"I... I try not to think about it." Jack looked over at Jonas. "Anyway, Probie isn't gonna quit – his missus likes firefighters. The way she was acting at the Christmas party, you'd have thought she liked _all_ firefighters... and police officers... and..."

Jonas suddenly flushed with anger. He spoke in a dangerously low voice. He said, "Shut up, Jack."

Jack nodded semi-seriously. "Just sayin', bud... you can go punching people out all you want, but you know your gal's a loose one."

Jonas was about to get up when Sam pushed him down again. She said, annoyed, "No. You're not fighting in front of the baby. You wanna punch Jack's lights out – you do it outside, d'ya hear?"

Jack started making faces at the now passively annoyed Jonas, but then he stopped when Sam turned to glare at him. She said, "Seriously, Sir, you should know better."

T pointed at her as though she had said something that he was thinking. He grinned, and said loudly, "This is why you can't quit!"

He spoke quietly when Maddie started crying. Jack took the girl from Sam, and T said, "See? If you go, we'll finally kill each other." He smiled smugly, his arms folded across his chest. "Now you have to stay."

Sam glanced at her daughter to see her staring wide-eyed at Jack who made faces at her. The Captain smiled briefly. She then said, looking at T, "If you'd let me get a word in edgeways, T... I just can't do this any more. I want to be there for Maddie more. Sure, I'm going to miss everything, but a gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do. That blaze the other night sealed it for me... we almost lost Cooper. That could have been any of us."

Jonas pointed out, matter-of-factly, "But that's what we signed up for. Those are the risks that we take. _You've_ been doing it for years... and you were in the Air Force before that."

Sam shrugged and looked at her daughter again. She said, "Yeah, but I wasn't a mother during that time. It made it easier." She looked up at T and then at Jonas. "... I tried rationalising it after Mad was born, that it was protecting her somehow... but if anything happened to me like what happened before I met Daniel... I..."

Jack spoke, drawing Sam's attention back to him and her daughter. As he held Maddie's hands, he said, "Carter, you really don't have to worry. We'd all take care of her."

"But you shouldn't have to. It's different for you guys..." She glanced at Jonas. "... well, those of you with kids." She looked at T and at Jack. "You guys have Sara and Shauna at home. If anything happened to you, at least the kids would have their Moms." She shook her head and looked down at her hands awkwardly. "I lost my Mom when I was in my teens... I know how hard it is to be without one. I don't want Mad to go through that."

T said abruptly, "She won't. She'll have us."

"T... you're not making this any easier..."

"Good."

Sam shrugged and said with a sigh, "Look, thanks guys, but my mind's made up."

T groaned and turned away from her in exasperation. With his back to her, he rubbed his face. Jonas gave her shoulder a squeeze. He said, "I'm gonna miss you, Sam."

T groaned again, shooting an accusing look Jonas's way. Sam looked at Jack, as though looking for his approval. Jack continued playing with Maddie, the frown on his face the only indication that he was listening to the proceedings. Sam said,

"Sir?"

Jack turned to look at her, looking philosophical. He said, "Well, Hammond's gonna have my ass on the line when he comes back from vacation, but if this what you want..."

Sam nodded. "It is."

"Well, get to it, Captain. The minute you get itchy, I'll be first in line to say 'I told you so', but..." He glanced at Maddie. "... you don't wanna screw up like I did when Charlie and Junior were ankle-biters and house-burners. True, old-fashioned Dads like me don't always have to worry because they're making the money and the old lady manages the house and the kids and stuff, but you know..."

He bounced Maddie, and then lifted up the squealing girl in the air. The adults laughed at this, and then he looked at Sam again. He said, "You and Shrink Monkey have it all worked out. I missed a lot."

When T looked ready to protest again, Jack said, "But this doesn't change a thing... you're still one of us."

Sam smiled as she looked down. She then said, "Of course, Sir."

"Well, that's half-sorted. Let's say we get a beer now? I don't wanna remember telling you all that mushy stuff." As Jack got up, he turned to look at Jonas. "That means you too... no more excuses about your girl wanting you home this time."

Jack glanced at T, and T cleared his throat. T looked at Jonas and said, "Yeah, 'cos we all know she's having a three-way with your neighbours."

Sam shot T and Jack a dirty look when she, once again, had to restrain a furious Jonas. Jack looked smug, and he said, "Well, that's settled then... first round's on you, Probie."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel smiled in thanks when a neighbour held the main door of the apartment building open for him. He paused to make sure he wasn't going to drop the pile of books that he was carrying, and he then made his way to the lift. After almost bumping into another neighbour, he spun around to avoid her and apologised.

Leaving the lift, he walked down the corridor to his and Sam's apartment. He was about to unlock the door when he noticed a piece of paper taped to the door. He unlocked the door and took the paper from it, reading it with a frown as he tried to focus.

_'D,_

_Gone out with the boys and Mad. Will be back soon with Tess. Left your dinner in the oven._

_Love,_

_S _

_xx'_

He frowned distractedly and put the note down as he kicked the door shut. He then dropped his books on a nearby table, and then sighed as he dropped down on the sofa tiredly. He unbuttoned a couple of buttons on his shirt and then leaned back, his eyes closed.

"Hey, baby doll, long day?"

He froze and then his eyes opened on hearing a voice he hadn't heard in a long time. He recoiled in horror on seeing Sarah standing in front of him, wearing Sam's bathrobe and looking as though she'd just showered. She was drying her hair with a towel, and asked, puzzled,

"Daniel, what's wrong? You look as though you've seen a ghost."

So shocked was Daniel that he fell over the back of the sofa. Getting up and brushing himself off, he stood up and faced her. He said, "What the hell are you doing here? How did you get in?"

Sarah looked at him, bemused. "Long day, indeed." She nodded in the direction of the kitchen. "Dinner's in the oven." When Daniel looked askance in the direction of scratching noises from Maddie's room, she said, "Oh, some stray cat jumped in and tried to attack me. I don't see what you see in those rats."

He looked at her in confusion. He then frowned. He said, "Sarah, we broke up a long time ago. I'm married now and I have a kid." He paused and then said, "When they did let you out?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." She waved the towel at him. "I'm going to get changed... we've got dinner reservations with Steve and Rob."

Forgetting what he should really have done – calling the Police – he followed her into his bedroom. He said, "Sarah, I don't know what's going on but you shouldn't be here. Please, just go now."

He turned with a start when the door closed behind him, and he saw that Sarah had wedged a door underneath the handle. Before he could react, she had taken her robe off and he closed his eyes, turning away from her. He said,

"Sarah, please don't do this."

He kept his eyes tightly closed and tried to get away from her. However, she had backed him into a corner and had started to kiss him. Now angry, he shoved her away and shouted, "Sarah! Stop it!"

She stared up at him from the floor, and he stormed away from her. He then fell to the ground when she tripped him up. He tried to get away when she then attacked him, but all was in vain as he struggled to push her away.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam and Tessa stood in front of the former's apartment door, Maddie in Sam's arms. The Captain and the archaeologist looked at the ajar door in puzzlement and then they shook their heads in exasperation. Sam looked at Maddie and tutted, saying, "Yep, I'm sorry, but your Dad's a Jackson... this is your future, being as forgetful as humanly possible."

Tessa retorted, "Hey! This isn't a family thing – it's a Danny thing."

"Yeah, right."

Tessa shot her a look as they entered the apartment. Sam called, "Daniel!" Tessa shut the door behind her. "... you are so lucky we have good neighbours otherwise we'd be wiped out each time you do this."

They paused on hearing a scratching noise from one of the doors, and Sam ran to open the door of Maddie's room. She leapt out of the way in shock when Isis leapt out of the room and bolted in the direction of the bathroom. Sam looked inside the room and then where Isis had gone. She shook her head in despair and called,

"Daniel!"

Tessa frowned as she watched the cat frantically scratch at the bathroom door. She then tentatively opened the bathroom door, and Sam looked round on hearing the shower running. Tessa was about to call her brother's name when she peered into the steam and then visibly blanched. She made the sign of the cross and then called to Sam,

"Sam... I... I found him."

Sam crossed the room quickly and asked, "What's wrong? Why aren't you going in?"

Tessa looked away abruptly and then whispered, "I think... I think you should go in. He's crying." She took Maddie from Sam, and said, "Go."

Sam looked troubled, but then she looked even more so on seeing what Tessa had seen. She closed the bathroom door behind her, and walked through the steam towards the shower stall. The shower was running and she could just about see someone sitting on the floor of the stall. When she heard what sounded like Daniel crying, her heart leapt into her throat and she quickly opened the door.

Without a second thought, she turned the shower off and grabbed a towel, wincing when she realised just how hot the water was. She sat on the edge of the stall floor and wrapped a towel around her vulnerable looking husband. He still hadn't acknowledged her presence – he hadn't seemed to acknowledge anything around him. She held him to her breast, disturbed that he was crying. She whispered, holding him tight,

"Daniel, what's wrong? What is it?"

He didn't reply. Instead, he trembled in her arms and his sobs grew louder. She kissed his forehead as she began to cry too. She said, "Honey, come on, tell me what's wrong. Please. Tell me."

When he finally spoke, she wasn't sure he had even spoken at first. She looked at him, holding his face in her hands as he kept his eyes tightly closed. He said weakly, "She's back."

She looked surprised and asked, "Who? Who is?"

But he didn't reply. By then he had stopped crying. He just rocked back and forth in her arms, his eyes fixed on nothing. Upset, and feeling helpless, she cried even more and held him tighter as the bathroom door opened.


	7. Chapter 7

A furious Sam burst into her old apartment, and she stalked around the living area. She was looking for something but the place had changed so much since she had left to move in with Daniel, that she felt a mite disorientated. She turned on her heel to look at Tessa, who nervously stood in the doorway. Tessa said,

"Um, look, not that you're not welcome, but what are you doing here?"

Sam asked, "Has Cam moved his bed?"

Tessa looked at the Captain oddly. She closed the door behind her and said, "I know you used to live here, but I'll be damned if that's any business of yours."

"Don't get all smarmy with me. Cam keeps a 9mm in an old cigar box beneath the floorboards under his bed."

Sam walked towards a room as Tessa helplessly followed. The archaeologist said, "Wait... what?" She shook her head. "No, I'd know if Cam kept firearms here. He knows I don't like them."

Inside the room, Sam roughly moved the bed to one side. She then prised a floorboard up and peeked inside. She said, "You know, Tess, you may go out with my brother-from-another-mother...-and-father, but I've known him a lot longer than you have." She reached inside the cavity she had opened and pulled out a dusty cigar box. She looked up at a shocked and then dismayed Tessa. "Cam never feels comfortable sleeping without a gun nearby... ever since he was stationed in Afghanistan. You'll, uh... you'll have to ask him about that."

Tessa stared in shock as Sam opened the box and pulled out a pistol and some bullets. Shock soon turned to caution, and the archaeologist asked, "What are you doing with it?"

"What do you think I'm gonna do?" Sam smoothed the cold metal of the weapon as though reacquainting herself with an old friend. She flicked the safety on the back and then tucked it into her jacket pocket along with the bullets. "My husband and your brother was attacked. I'm gonna find the bitch and make her pay."

Tessa snapped, "With blood? With her life? God, I'd like nothing better to break her legs, but what gives you the right to take a life?" Despite her growing anger, Tessa remained in the doorway; feeling edgy enough as it was to be under the same roof as a gun without getting even closer to it. "What example are you setting for my niece, huh?" Tessa clenched her fists angrily and glared at Sam fiercely. "Fuck! I thought you were better than this."

Sam got to her feet and came face-to-face with Tessa. The Captain was glaring back at her just as fiercely. Sam said, "I'm not letting her harm Daniel again, you hear? Do you think that because he's a man, rape doesn't mean the same thing as it does if he was a woman?"

Tessa retorted, "I'm not saying that! For fuck's sake, will you listen instead of getting all extreme feminist on me?" She calmed a little. "Look, we can let the Police handle it, otherwise _you're_ going to end up in jail."

"Hey, it's in the Constitution."

"Okay, Sam, we've been over this. The Second Amendment is over three hundred years old. Back then, they wanted or needed – whatever – a well-regulated militia to maintain a free state. Okay? We have the Armed Forces and the Police now. It's not like England is ever gonna rescind the Declaration of Independence. You do not _need_ a gun." Tessa shook her head and said despairingly, "Sam, if you do this, I'm sorry, but I can't respect you any more. If you have a gun, you're going to use it... and who next? Huh? Statistics show that you're more likely to..."

Sam interrupted her, not wanting to listen to her arguments. She said, "Look, I have a right to protect my family. If you're not with me, then get out of my face."

A furious Sam pushed past her and stormed out of the apartment. Tessa sighed as she looked at where Sam had gone, and then she dropped her head to her chest in defeat. It was days like this when she wondered whether Cam and Sam really were related.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel sat at the apartment window, a blanket around him. He held onto it for dear life, as though afraid that if he didn't, he would lose himself. He stared through the glass, not actually looking at anything. He felt violated and alone. Now he truly understood how some of his former patients had felt; what they had gone through. His training in psychology hadn't prepared him for this, and now he felt like the most troubled of his former patients.

His mind blotted out the worst of it, which showed just how bad it must have been. But things came to him now and then, and it took all of his energy to keep himself from crying. As he drifted between catatonia and a dim state of wakefulness, he became gradually aware at certain points that he wasn't alone. He eventually came to realise that there were quite a few people present. If he concentrated hard enough, he could home in on particular voices: Jack, Janet, Janet's adopted daughter Cassie, T, Shauna, Jonas, Val, Robert...

A tear rolled down his cheek when he didn't hear the one voice in the room that he wanted to hear. Where had Sam gone? Had she left him because of what had happened with Sarah? He felt so unclean and in a low moment, he didn't blame her. He would have left himself had he had the choice or the opportunity.

Voices came and went from behind him, and occasionally he'd feel people's hands on his shoulder, or holding his hand. He was lost. How was he supposed to just go on with his life, feeling as unclean and as violated as this? He had always believed in humanity, despite the violence and the wars, but he could never understand how one human could harm another; how one human could do such a thing to their fellow human, whatever their apparent mental state.

What scared him most of all was the possibility of Sarah returning. He didn't know where she had gone, and he knew that she would return. He didn't know how or when, and his fear grew further. He wasn't safe. His wife and daughter weren't safe. No-one was.

He closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would assail his fear... but whenever he closed his eyes, he could see her face again. He could feel her touch, and it sickened him. How could he have let her do that to him? He should have been able to stop her. He should have called the Police when he had had the chance... but the naïve part of him believed that he could reason with her, that she was the Sarah he used to know.

Of course, she wasn't, and of course, he was stupid enough to let himself get into such a situation. He felt as though he wasn't a man any more. He had neither enjoyed nor actively participated in many of the common stereotypes of his gender, but it hurt deeply nonetheless. He was supposed to protect his family and yet he had been compromised. He didn't want Sam to have that burden – as capable as she was, it didn't seem right to him.

And then he couldn't help it. He began to cry, and he was too weak and tired to stop himself. Staring out of the window, he cried for the comparatively innocent times before his world had been torn asunder. He cried for what his life might hold now. Perhaps Sam would leave him. He couldn't bear the thought, but his battered mind tortured him repeatedly.

He didn't know how much time had passed, nor where their friends were. The next thing he knew was that he was back in bed, and in an embrace he thought he'd never feel again. He wanted to fight – he wasn't worth it, but he couldn't. He just cried, unable to do anything else. He felt her kisses, and he heard her say,

"Everything's going to be okay, Daniel. I promise. I won't let anything happen to you."

And if he tried hard enough, maybe he could believe her. For now, however, he allowed himself one small mercy. He lost himself in her embrace, letting himself believe that perhaps he wasn't as unclean and unworthy as he felt.


	8. Chapter 8

_I just want to apologise to you guys in advance for this chapter. It just wouldn't behave itself. I don't mean that in a coy way. I'm not entirely happy with how events pan out here – I think it resolves itself a bit too quickly but it's just the way it played out. I am so sorry._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

A lot of time had passed – it must be night, she thought. Everything was quiet. She had watched through the grating as _she_ settled the runt child down. There were a number of times that she was sure she'd be found out and, after so many hours, it now began to hurt each time she held her breath. And she had a sore need to relieve herself. She waited, however, 'til everyone had settled. The runt was now asleep, and Daniel and the fire fighter had stopped talking in the next room.

Now, she had to get out of the air duct without being detected in the process. She had to set things right and she wasn't going to let anything stop her. That fire fighter had stolen her life; she had had the child that was meant to be _hers_. This was all wrong.

She carefully moved the grating, holding her breath each time it made the slightest noise. She then slid out, praying that she wasn't going to crash to the ground. She grimaced as she fell and she just managed to stop herself from making any more noise by holding onto the side of the crib. She smiled as she looked down at the child. Soon, it would be hers; no-one would ever deny that the fair-haired child was hers.

She whispered, "I'm going to call you Alice."

She crept out of the room, mindful that Daniel had a cat. The idea made her baulk. Cats were vermin; not to be trusted. She paused as she reached the other bedroom, and she took a deep breath. She suddenly felt very nervous. Could she do this? Could she undo all of this and return things to how they were meant to be? Did she have it in her to reclaim her man and her life?

With shaking hands, she picked up a heavy book, and she quietly slipped into the room. The problem with apartments, she thought, was a lack of windows. There was only a small window and it was dark outside with only the dim haze of street lights filtering through the shades. She could barely make out the slumbering figures of her man and the usurper.

Once again she hesitated. Could she do this? Did she have the courage to reclaim what was hers? It was so quiet – she could hear her racing heart and the blood rushing to her ears; a furiously increasing march to war. This was it; now or never. Now or never; do or die.

She tiptoed towards the bed, down the side on which the fire fighter was sleeping. She couldn't see her clearly but she knew that she was there. She gasped quietly – one drop of the book and it would all be over. She fought back tears that sprung to her eyes at the thought of getting her life back. Oh, how glorious would that be? Glorious and long-deserved indeed.

She became grim with determination as she raised the book over the bed. Not long now. She closed her eyes and was ready to drop it. She tried hard to regulate her breathing and she was just about to drop, when suddenly it was all over.

The next thing she knew, it was light – painfully light. She was face-down on the floor, someone forcing her face down into the ground. She was dimly aware of someone shouting at her to remain still. What had happened? How could her plan have failed?

She began to sob.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam roughly grabbed the woman lying face down on the ground beneath her. A terrified looking Daniel peeked in horror from the bed. All he could do was stare at the woman who had violated him and who had tried to kill his wife. Sam took control, as usual. She yelled at Sarah to stay still, ignoring her when she started crying. Sam tightened her grip on Sarah and she looked up at Daniel. Sam's gaze softened as she noticed just how scared Daniel looked. She said calmly,

"Daniel, call 911." When Daniel didn't move, Sam said, "Daniel!" He slowly met her gaze, the archaeologist trying to keep a hold of his emotions. She said, "Daniel, I need you here now, okay? Please. Call 911."

He slowly nodded as though he had finally heard her. He reached for the phone, and Sam yelled again as Sarah tried in vain to free herself. Sam tightened her grip further until Sarah began to scream. Sam furiously said, "Where were you hiding?" When Sarah didn't reply, Sam held her even tighter. "Where. Were. You. Hiding?"

Sarah began to sob again, her body shaking with each one. She said, "This is wrong! You shouldn't be here!" Sarah then screamed. "You shouldn't! You stole my life and Daniel and..."

Sam lost her temper and grabbed Sarah by the hair, yanking her head back. Sarah screamed again, and Sam hissed, "Stop deluding yourself. You're wrong. Can't you see that? You're in the wrong here. No-one stole anything from you."

Daniel got up from the bed, and said, "The Police should be here soon."

Sam looked up and nodded at him. She said, "Go let them in. I've just done their work for them."

A disturbed looking Daniel left the room. Sam pulled Sarah's head back again, and said, "Now, tell me where you were hiding! This could get very painful for you."

Sarah panted from the exertion of crying, screaming, and being held captive. She said quietly, "The ventilation shaft in the other room."

Sam's eyes widened in realisation, and she became very angry indeed. She fumed. "You were in my baby's room?!" Sam then got up, still restraining Sarah. She hauled Sarah to her feet, shouting, "Get up! On your feet! Now!"

Sam forced the now terrified and unstable Sarah into the main living area of the apartment. Sam appeared momentarily surprised to see T coming through the front door. He came forward to help her but she shook her head. She said, "T, could you check on Maddie, please?"

T asked, worried, "You need any help, Sammy?"

"I got this covered."

T disappeared into Madeleine's room, and Sam yelled at Sarah. "Down on your knees! Now! Hands behind your head!"

Sarah appeared to be distracted somehow. She slumped to her knees and slowly complied with the Captain, as though she had given up. Sam then brandished a gun and trained it on the broken woman before her. Sam said,

"Make one wrong move and you're not going to have time to regret it."

Sam looked up when T emerged from Maddie's room. T nodded, and Sam felt a wave of relief wash over her that her child was safe. She then frowned as she kept her gun trained on Sarah. Sarah's gaze dropped, and she said quietly,

"Will you allow me to say something?" Sarah reluctantly looked up at her captor. "Please?"

Sam nodded aggressively and said, "Spill."

Sarah nodded as she dropped her gaze once again. She spoke in a quiet voice and both Sam and T had to strain to hear her. She said, "Why am I wrong here? What happened to me?"

Sam glanced at the door when it opened. She said, a little roughly, "Daniel, where are the cops?"

An emotionless Daniel didn't look at her. Instead, his eyes were on Sarah. He said, "Jack's downstairs waiting... Put the gun down."

Both Sam and T looked at him as though he had lost his mind. Daniel moved closer to Sarah, and he looked up at Sam. He said, "_Please_ put the gun down. Look at her – she's not going to do anything." He added quietly, "And get rid of that thing – I don't want it under the same roof as our daughter."

Sam reluctantly lowered her firearm, the Captain now confused as well as annoyed. A pale and trembling Sarah looked at him and then looked away, feeling too ashamed to look at him longer. Daniel struggled with his emotions for a moment and he kneeled on the floor next to her. He said, "Sarah. Don't do this to yourself. You are so much better than this."

Sarah began to cry again as she finally lowered her hands to her sides. She hung her head, and said, "We had a good thing, Daniel. We did, and it all got taken away from me. I don't know what I did."

He closed his eyes and shook his head. He looked at her again, and if she had been looking at him, she would have been lost in the sadness in his eyes. Daniel said, "Sarah..."

He tenderly pushed back a stray tendril of her hair over her ear. A jealous Sam then turned away and angrily stripped her weapon. He continued, "... we deluded ourselves for a long time." He shrugged. "I'm not the right man for you. You deserve someone who can love you like I never could. You just have to believe that."

T and Sam looked up when Jack arrived with police officers and Tessa. Sam and T went to talk to them. Sarah covered her eyes with her hands and sobbed again. She said, "I'm so sorry, Daniel. I don't expect you to forgive me... but..."

Daniel sighed and he shook his head. He said, "You're right – I can't forgive you. All I ask of _you_ is that you get the help that you need. As much as you drove me up the wall, the Sarah I know would never have let herself stoop this low." He paused and suddenly looked as though he was trying hard not to lash out at her. He said, "And if you _ever_ come near my family again, Sam is going to be the least of your worries. I don't want to see you ever again. Go with the police officers, get help, and live your life."

Sarah continued to sob as she let a police officer handcuff her while the other officers talked to Sam. She was hauled to her feet, and she apologised repeatedly to Daniel; but he continued to kneel, his face impassive as he refused to look at her.

Sarah went with the officers as they were shown out by Jack, while Sam, T and Tessa remained silent. They looked at one another and then at Daniel who hadn't moved. T looked at Sam in concern, but her troubled gaze was fixed on her husband. She dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around Daniel, holding him close to her.

Tessa looked at T, and then put a hand to her face. She said, frustrated, "Okay, um, anyone wanna tell me what the heck just happened?!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

In the dark once again, Sam held onto a trembling Daniel. He hadn't said a word since Sarah had been taken away. Even so, he had accompanied her to Maddie's room to check on her, and the two of them had come to a silent agreement that they all had indeed been very lucky.

While Sam had felt some jealousy when he had talked to Sarah, the rational part of her had thought him brave to face the woman who had hurt him so badly. Sam sat in the middle of the bed, with Daniel in her arms, his head against her shoulder.

It occurred to her now and then throughout the night that had she and her old team not treated the possibility of Sarah's return seriously, she would have been killed while she slept. The thought didn't chill her as it much as it would or should have. All she could think about was the man in her arms who was broken, and she didn't know how to put him back together again, so she continued holding him and talking every so often.

Sam looked up when she heard the door open. She held Daniel protectively, feeling edgy enough as it was following recent events. She relaxed on hearing Tessa's voice.

"Sam, it's me." Tessa sat down next to her sister-in-law and brother. She put her arms around both of them. She said in an awed whisper, "I can't believe that happened. You were lucky; you both were." She sniffed, sounding as though she was crying. She whispered, "I'm so glad she's not coming back."

Sam hugged her sister-in-law. Tears in her eyes, she said quietly, "I hope she doesn't." Sam sniffed too. "She would have done much worse if she'd succeeded tonight. They promised me that we were safe... but she managed to escape from that place somehow. It's not exactly a secure facility if she got out. I'm considering taking legal action." Her voice wobbled. "Look what happened already because of their negligence. They've left me to pick up the pieces and I don't know how."

Sam wept as she held Daniel, and Tessa followed suit; two women crying for the man next to them. Tessa sighed, for once not making any attempt to hide her tears. She said, "There's only one thing that we can do, Sam – we'll be there for him. You need to be there for him too."

Sam sniffed, and said, "But I don't know what to do."

"You don't have to know." Tessa reached over to caress her brother's head. "He's a strong man – he'll pull through... but you loving him will help him so much." She broke down in tears again as she held Daniel too. "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you like you've protected me my whole life, Danny."

Throughout the night, Sam and Tessa held him. They talked occasionally – about nothing in particular as their tears were soon forgotten. Sometimes they laughed about old times; sometimes they fell silent for hours as they either reflected on the turn their lives had taken, or they had fallen asleep.

When it was almost dawn, and the two women were fast asleep, Daniel became aware that he was tired. Feeling safe and loved, he finally closed his eyes. As he drifted off, he whispered, "Thank you."


	9. Chapter 9

A bespectacled Sam sat cross-legged on the living room floor, in front of the television. In her lap, an enthralled Maddie quietly sat as she stared at the various brightly coloured characters and shapes on the screen. Even Isis seemed enchanted by the programme as she occasionally took to clawing at the TV screen. Several times, Sam had had to get up to stop the cat from lashing out whenever another cat appeared on screen.

Sam laughed when Maddie got excited and started clapping along with a song. Sam found herself singing along as she held Maddie's hands and clapped them. The little girl then squealed in delight and shouted, "Day Go!"

Sam chuckled, and said, "Sweetie, it's 'Diego'."

Sam smiled as she looked at her daughter and they started singing along to another song, although in Maddie's case, she was mumbling along to the tune.

The Captain glanced up on hearing the door open. She then turned in surprise to see a dark-haired woman lugging a large paper bag in each arm. Before Sam could get up to help, the woman managed to get into the apartment, and she kicked the door shut. She then grinned and said,

"Hey, Sammy. How's the munchkin?"

Sam left the child in front of the TV as she got up. She said, surprised, "Shauna! Um, yeah, Maddie's great. How are Ryan and Casey? I haven't seen you in a while..." Sam took the bags from Shauna. "Here, let me take those."

Sam peeked into the bags curiously and appeared puzzled. She looked at the grinning woman in front of her. Shauna thanked the Captain, and said, "Seeing as it's just us girls... thought I'd cook dinner."

An awkward Sam said, "What about T? You know how he gets when he has low blood sugar."

Shauna continued to grin as she followed Sam into the kitchen. She said, "Well, T-bear is watching the kids. It usually means they end up ordering pizza."

In the kitchen, as Sam put the bags down, Shauna's smile vanished. She rubbed Sam's shoulder and spoke in a quiet voice. She said, concerned, "Hey, how are you? Don't lie to me." She smirked briefly. "Nice specs by the way."

Sam appeared self-conscious momentarily. She said, "Thanks... my contacts got itchy." She cleared her throat and looked away. She said, looking back, "I'm fine."

"You sure? T told me what happened. You should have shot the bitch when you had the chance."

Sam's distracted façade soon crumbled, and she held onto the worktop to steady herself as she began to cry. Shauna, instantly alarmed, rubbed Sam's back. She said, "Hey, hey, this is what you get for trying to be strong for everyone."

Sam sniffed but to her dismay found that she couldn't stop the tears. She took her glasses off and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue that Shauna had offered. Sam said, "I don't know what to do. This isn't something that you prepare for." She looked at Shauna. "He flinches when I touch him. I know it's not my fault, but it feels like a rejection, you know? I should have been there to protect him."

An edgy Sam went to the doorway, peering into the living room. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that her daughter and her cat were still watching television. Sam then turned back to Shauna, and said, "I haven't slept properly in a week. Tess has been great though, considering. I don't think I would've come out this sane without her."

A mortified Shauna stared at Sam. She said, "Oh, honey, it's worse than I thought. You seriously need to take a break." She put her arms around Sam, holding her close. "You've got everything on top of you now with that college job coming up and everything." Shauna looked down at Sam. "The girls and I have been thinking... how about we go on a road trip? Just the four of us, or five, if Tessa wants to come along."

Sam shook her head and sighed as Shauna let go of her. She said, "I can't... I'd love to, believe me, but Daniel and Maddie need me right now."

"They need you too... and you need to be on top form. You're not gonna be on top-form if you don't look after yourself. This past year has been pretty crazy for all of us."

Sam looked down at feet for a moment. She then looked at Shauna, and said, "Maybe... not now though. It just doesn't feel right leaving either of them. It's too soon."

"Oh, you wait 'til the l'il munchkin is older. You'd be out in the car by now."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel walked to his office, with that same mildly cheerful expression on his face that he had always used at work. He nodded in greeting at various colleagues, and quietly took sheaves of paper handed to him by administrative staff and more colleagues. He entered the office, and only when the door closed behind him did his expression change.

He was tired.

He dumped the huge pile of books and papers that he had carried. He then sat down behind his desk and leaned back in his chair. He took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment. He had been busy all day, but he hadn't minded. Anything that would take his mind off recent events.

Now alone in the confines of his office, he couldn't distract himself any longer. He didn't know how to deal with the prolonged rush of conflicting feelings that haunted him. But it was his struggle and his alone. No-one else could help him.

He leaned forward and hid his face in his hands. Had this been a patient he was dealing with, he would know what to do. He didn't know where to begin with himself though. He did favour the Socratic method when it came to learning things, but when it came to self-exploration, it fell flat on its face for him; especially when he was hurting like this.

He just wanted the feelings to go away so he could go back to how things were before. He wasn't sure how long he could keep up the pretence of everything being fine in public. He was all to aware that Sam had had to bear more than was necessary from him.

Maybe he just needed to get away from it all.

A knock at the door sharply roused him from his thoughts. He frowned, wondering who would be visiting him now. Usually Tessa didn't knock. He cleared his throat, and called, "Come in!"

He pretended to look as though he was busy by frowning at the papers in front of him. He glanced up when the door opened, and then stared at the woman in his office. She had shoulder-length brown hair and wore a business suit. She appeared nervous as she focussed on him, and she said politely,

"Doctor Jackson, I presume?"

He glanced around her as though unsure. He said, "Can I help you?"

She closed the door behind her and said, "I'm sorry to intrude. You probably won't remember me, but we were at Chicago together in '91."

Daniel frowned as he looked at her, and he slowly got to his feet, deep in thought. Realisation hit him suddenly, and he looked at her once again. He said with a grin, "Elizabeth Weir. No, of course I remember you. God, no, um, wow... I referenced some of your work when I was doing my Psych PhD." He pulled out a chair and said, "Please, sit down. I'm sure I can find some coffee around here somewhere."

Elizabeth shook her head and then smiled bemusedly as he continued to ramble on. She said, "I'm fine thanks. I'm not hear to catch up. I'm actually here on a professional call."

A puzzled Daniel sat back down in his chair as Elizabeth sat on the chair he had offered her. She said, a touch awkwardly, "This is kinda awkward, and I totally understand if you don't want to talk to me." She sighed. "I just really want to apologise for Doctor Gardner's escape. It shouldn't have happened, and I am so sorry."

Daniel slumped in his chair as he gaze grew distant. He glanced up at her, and said, "You're her shrink?"

She nodded, and said, "No-one could have known she would do this. Please be assured that steps have been taken to improve security throughout the facility."

He replied grimly, "I find it hard to be assured considering how close my wife and daughter came to being killed because of your negligence." He paused awkwardly. "Well, not _yours _directly."

She nodded sympathetically. "I knew what you meant."

He rubbed his face with his hands, and groaned quietly. He said, "Sorry, it's been a long week."

She nodded once again, and said, "I'm sorry for intruding."

"No, it's okay. It's actually quite nice to see you again." He grimaced when he caught sight of his watch. "I have a class in ten minutes, but I'd love to catch up with you if you're free afterwards."

She shook her head and appeared apologetic. "Ah, sorry. I've got to fly back home to LA... another day, maybe?" She reached into her jacket pocket and then pushed a business card towards him. "Here are my contact details."

He slowly picked up the card and looked at it. He looked at her and raised his eyebrows. "_Sheppard_?"

She smiled sheepishly, and she said, "I took my husband's name. He's a flight instructor; he used to be in the Air Force." She paused. "That's not _why_ I took his name, but..."

"Oh wow. My wife used to be a captain in the Air Force."

She remarked, surprised, "Wow, we've both fallen for soldiers. Bet you never saw that coming."

"Nope."

"Well, I'd better not keep you. It's been good to see you again." She smirked. "Enjoy your class."

And with that, she was gone. Daniel stared at where she had been, and then at the card that he still held. He appeared wistful as he remembered times gone by. He poked it into his shirt pocket and was about to get going when the door opened. Before he could even speak, he was confronted by a curious Tessa.

She said, "Who was that?"


	10. Chapter 10

Tessa sighed wearily as she slouched on the floor next to the toilet. She didn't feel up to facing this by herself, but she had to. She didn't have many close friends other than Sam, but she was rushed off her feet picking up the pieces after what had happened to Daniel. As much as she hated to think of her brother's pain as an opportunity, it had been in a way. She could back away without them realising it. Otherwise, it would have only been a matter of time before her sister-in-law discovered that her increasingly frequent trips to the bathroom weren't because of a small bladder.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She should have been happy, and she would have been had Cam stayed with her instead of going to a war zone. She began to cry quietly and, alone as she was, she let the tears come. It was such a mess – everything. She wasn't even sure she wanted to keep the baby.

But what if Cam never came back?

That thought made her cry even more. She didn't know what she would do without him. Even though they had only been together for less than a year, it seemed as though he had always been there. It seemed like he had always been there with a joke to cheer her up when she was feeling down. Even when she wanted to kill him at times, he had seemingly always found a way to make her smile somehow.

Further thoughts were cut short as she quickly got to her knees before the bowl, and promptly vomited once again. As she cleaned up, she mused that perhaps Sam or Daniel ought to know at the very least. It would only be a matter of time before her pregnancy became obvious. She was already putting on weight around her hips, and she needed as much support as she could get. It pained her to think that, but in the end, if anything happened, she would never forgive herself.

She stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red raw and her long hair hung limply down her shoulders. She looked a mess, and she wanted her mother. Her mother would know what to do – she'd know the right things to say... but she was nearly two thousand miles away. Tessa looked down at the sink as shame came over her. She couldn't tell her mother. It felt wrong, as though she could see the same stern facial expression her mother had used when she had been sent home for fighting in school. Her mother hadn't shouted or scolded, but even then, Tessa hadn't missed the disappointment in her mother's eyes. The same expression burned into her memory and she began to cry again.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel walked along a corridor of an apartment building. He needed someone to fuss over, but Sam wouldn't let him fuss over her or the baby. That left Tessa, whom he had spent most of his life worried about. It felt to him as though she had been avoiding him lately. Ordinarily, he would have left her to her own devices, but he was increasingly aware following recent events of how similarly both he and she handled pain.

He tapped on the door before unlocking it, something which he had found necessary to do since his sister had moved in with her boyfriend. Even though said boyfriend was away, it had long since become a habit. He entered the apartment and closed the door behind him. As he hung up his jacket, he realised that the lights were off and her bedroom door was the only other door that was closed. He frowned as though pondering this. He called,

"Tess!" He walked around the living room, peeking into various doors and cupboards. He said, "Just wanted to take you out for dinner." He glanced at her bedroom door warily. "... or if you're not feeling up to it, we could order in."

He neared the door, worried that he wasn't getting an answer. He called again, "Tess!"

He hesitated before knocking on the door. He hesitated further before opening the door slowly and peeking in. He frowned, this time in disbelief, when he saw Tessa sat in the middle of the bed, papers and books scattered around her as she appeared to be busily marking papers. He called again,

"Tess!"

She glanced up distractedly, and then looked up at him in surprise. She said, "Danny, what are you doing here? Does Sam know you're here? You know how protective of you she is."

He rolled his eyes as he opened the door wider. He said, "It may have escaped your notice, but I am thirty-nine and capable of looking after myself." He then looked at her teasingly. "Anyway, I seem to remember having to change your diaper when Mom had malaria in '74."

She glared at him coldly. She threw her pen down and said, "You swore you'd never mention that again."

He shrugged. "I never swore – you threatened me with all sorts of violence. Anywho, what are you going to do? You already told Sam the bucket story."

She got up from the bed and looked at him meaningfully. She said, "You know, Daniel Jackson, I've got plenty more of where that came from." She walked past him into the living room. "You're forgetting that I lived in the same state as Mom and Dad up 'til last year."

Daniel folded his arms across his chest and regarded her sceptically. Tessa turned around and said, "What are you doing here?"

"Thought I'd take you out to dinner. To be honest, it was Sam's idea – she wanted me out of the house."

She appeared concerned. "How is she?"

"She's coping." He looked momentarily sad. He said, "She shouldn't have to, but she won't let me do anything." He then looked at her meaningfully. "Anyway, young lady, that's enough about me. What the hell have you been up to? I barely see you outside of work, and _at_ work, you're always on my case about something."

She turned away from him and said quietly, "Nothing's up."

"Look, Tess, if you wanna talk, I'm here. I know how hard it is without Mitchell here."

Her eyes flashed angrily as she turned back to her brother. She said, "You really don't know the half of it."

"Well, kindly inform me of the half that's escaped my knowledge."

She retorted, "I don't know what Sam sees in you – you're such an ass." She sighed as she walked away from him. She then turned back to face him. She said, "Okay, Danny, I'm going to tell you, but if you freak out, I'm gonna kick your ass. The same goes for if you tell anyone. Capische? That includes Sam."

Daniel began to look worried again as he noticed how troubled his sister appeared. He took a step towards her and said, "Tess..."

She sniffed as she began to cry. She threw her fists down in frustration and not being able to stop crying. As Daniel made his way to her, Tessa raised a hand and stopped him. He looked at her in confusion. She lifted her top to reveal her lightly bulging abdomen. She looked down at it and gently stroked it. She looked up at him, expecting some kind of an emotional reaction, only to see that he still looked confused.

She closed her eyes briefly. Her brother could be so oblivious sometimes. She took a deep breath and said, "Danny, I'm pregnant."

Daniel seemed to be too stunned to speak as he stared at her and then turned away. She covered up her stomach again and was about to wallow in self-pity. However, he ran his fingers through his hair as though he was stressed, and he spun around to face her. He said,

"Is it Cam's?"

Tessa immediately became offended. She folded her arms across her chest and retorted drily, "No, it's yours." She turned away from him. "Jesus, Danny, of course it's Cam's."

He stared at her back as though trying to decide what to do but coming up short. He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. He said, feeling awkward, "Tess, I'm sorry... I'm trying not to freak out. I'm assuming it wasn't planned."

Tessa hung her head as she tried once again to stop crying. She said, "No... and I don't know what to do."

"You could have told me before. How far along are you?"

"Around eleven weeks." She turned around to look at him, that same shame from earlier burning within her. She said, "I didn't want to say anything at first because I was already a burden on you guys... and now, I just couldn't what with everything that's happened." She shot him a warning look. "Please don't tell Sam. I don't want anyone to know."

His shoulders slumped as though he was disappointed. He said, "Tess, I have to. We don't keep any secrets from each other."

She snorted derisively. She said, "Oh, I'll bet you do."

"Nope, not one."

She made a face, and then said, "Well, that's what you get for marrying one of your patients."

He groaned and said, "You know, I'd have thought that one of Sam's friends might have made that joke." He sighed. "Look, I'll keep it a secret, but no promises. Not that I've particularly tried, but it's just not something I do."

"Whatever."

He smiled slightly as he lightly grazed his knuckles against her cheek. He said, "Hey, look, whatever you decide, you're guaranteed to have both me and Sam on board."

She muttered, "Thanks..."

He appeared to be thinking of something. He then said sternly, "Tessa, pack a bag – you're moving in with us."

Her head shot up in surprise. She then looked scared. She said. "Danny, no, no. I can't. I don't want anyone finding out."

"Honey, it's going to be quite obvious soon that you're with child." He sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, but I have to tell Sam at the very least." When she looked ready to hit him, he said hastily, "Oh, come on! You're the one who said that she's like the sister you never had. Why are you being like this?"

She snapped, "Well, excuse me for not jumping up and down in joy because I'm unexpectedly pregnant by a man who's on the other side of the world! Okay, Sam has enough to worry about – she doesn't need to worry about me. You know what she's like."

"She's going to be worse the longer you leave it." Daniel then asked abruptly, "Have you been throwing up?"

"That's none of your business, fucktard."

He looked at her, mildly annoyed. He said, "Tess, we're not kids any more. We're in our thirties... you can't just throw made-up swear words at me."

"I can and will." She sighed and then appeared helpless. "I've been trying to hide all this, okay? It gets harder and harder each time, but I just have to. Look, Danny, I'm sorry for being short with you, but this is really hard. I'm finally in a place where I love going to work every day, and to lose all that... I don't want to. It gets more and more difficult each day to go in with my usual enthusiasm." She made a face as she thought of something. She said, "God, you know, if I'm gonna be serious about this, it means a 'no' to the caffeine."

He looked at her reprovingly. He said, "Even you know drinking your usual vats of coffee while with child is a bad thing."

"Oh, fuck off. I've made sure, on the whole, not to go over 200mg."

"_On the whole_."

Tessa folded her arms across her chest as she glared at him challengingly. She said, "Please refer to my last remark."

"It's just as well your baby can't hear yet." Daniel's shoulders slumped a little when he stopped being angry. He said, "No, I'm serious. You're moving in with us. No buts. I'm really putting my foot down."

"You know how much I hate you, don't you?"

He rolled his eyes and said, "If you don't pack a bag, I will, and I'm sure there's stuff you don't want your big brother seeing. So, what's it going to be?"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Holy Hannah! Oh, we've got to call Mom and... there's the baby shower and..."

An enthusiastic Sam rambled on excitedly as she hugged Tessa. Tessa looked up at Daniel who was standing behind the sofa that they were sitting on, her brother trying not to laugh at the tortured expression on her face. Tessa frowned a little and said,

"You are so dead, Daniel."

When Sam let Tessa go, she looked from one Jackson to the other in confusion. She then said, "Have you guys had another bust-up?"

Tessa quietly fumed as Daniel tried hard once again not to look amused. He said, "Oh, just the usual. Tess didn't want me telling you."

Sam looked instantly worried as she turned back to Tessa at almost breakneck speed. She said, "What?" She hugged her again. "Aww, honey, there's nothing to be scared about." Sam smiled momentarily. "I'm not going to lie to you and say it's all beautiful. It isn't. It's painful, and there's bloating and swelling and vomit." Sam held Tessa's hand and looked at her sincerely.. "But in the end, for what you get, it's so worth it. I'm not sure whether I'd do it again though."

Daniel moved from behind the sofa when Maddie fell onto her backside. He held the whimpering toddler in his arms and shushed her. Tessa looked up at her brother and her niece. She had always liked watching her brother with babies; he always seemed to know what to do and they always seemed to like him. All babies seemed to want to do with her, on the other hand, was claw her eyes out.

Sam watched her sister-in-law. 'She knows what she wants but it's like she doesn't know whether she should,' she thought. Sam said softly, "Have you told Cam?"

Tessa shook her head as she looked back at Sam again. She said, "I talked to him a couple of weeks ago. I didn't tell him anything. It didn't seem right for him to worry about things back home. He's got a lot on his plate."

Sam put her hand on Tessa's shoulder. "Honey, he has a right to know."

"I can't. I guess he'll have to find out when he comes home." Tessa looked down at her hands as though thinking of something. She said quietly, "The thing is... I'm scared he might not come back. If he doesn't, I won't have anything to remember him by. The least I could do is bring his child into the world."

Sam looked worried once again as she reached over to smooth Tessa's head. She shook her head, and said, "Don't think about all that, okay? Just think about what you want right now; not what you think anyone else might want, or the grand scheme of things. Just think about you."

Tessa sniffed and said, anguished, "I don't know. What if I can't look after it? I'm a wreck as it is without a baby in the equation."

Sam instantly hugged a now crying Tessa. The Captain whispered as she held her tight, "We're all here for you. Don't worry about things like that."


	11. Chapter 11

Sam slowly took a seat behind her new desk. She was in her new office at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. It felt so good to be involved in academic physics once again. In fact, it felt as though she was in one prolonged dream. Of course, most of the kids paid little attention to the lectures, and barely half bothered to even turn up for seminars, but it felt rewarding all the same.

She liked her colleagues too, although each of them had quirks which grated on her somewhat. For instance, the man snorting derisively at some test papers behind the desk to her right, had a tendency to put people down during debates. He tended to believe that he was right all the time, and if anyone contradicted his views, that they were always wrong, even when proven otherwise. Also, he kept making unwelcome advances on her and calling her 'blondie' and 'blue eyes'. Other than that, she found that he had a brilliant mind, but that he was too clinical for his own good.

To her left, there was a man who repeatedly blew his nose and occasionally spilled things over the papers on his desk. She had learned that he had gained a reputation for returning stained papers to his students. She liked him despite his clumsiness, because he had quite a vivid imagination; although there were times when his imagination ran away with him and he would think up all kinds of irrational implausibility.

Then there was the man who didn't seem to have his own desk, and used hers the few times he actually needed one. He was socially awkward and tended to mutter things in is own language when annoyed. He was exceptional at Chess, but seemed to attract most of the ire and sarcastic comments of the man on her right. Evidently, the two of them had some kind of a history, or the man on her right was perhaps intimidated by his abilities.

Despite the job being relatively easier than say, a research position, or anything else that used more of her abilities, she felt a strange feeling in that office, as though she had finally found a place to be. Her colleagues may be either jackasses, clumsy, or socially awkward, but it felt right, as though the three of them were in on some big secret. Quite what secret, she didn't know.

Sam glanced at her watch and resumed typing at her computer. If she was honest with herself, while she loved teaching, and while she loved working at the University, she felt unchallenged and underused. But it felt great to be a part of passing on her knowledge to the next generation, even if most of them weren't paying attention.

A particularly loud snort drew her attention to the man on her right again. He was now glancing at a paper and at his computer screen. Sam frowned, slightly annoyed that he couldn't work as quietly as everyone else. She asked, "Distracted by MySpace again?"

The man looked at her and then sneered. He said, "As if. You know Latimer's nephew? The big kid who always has a phone call during a class?"

She rolled her eyes and said, "That's narrowed it down to most of them."

"His father's some big shot Air Force General..."

"Um, I haven't been in the Air Force for a long time... and even if I was still there, it doesn't mean I'd know every single officer, ever."

He shook his head. "Whatever. Big tall kid with a million and one hoops, and whose only hobbies seem to be yelling at people."

She narrowed her eyes as she slowly realised who he was talking about. She said, surprised, "Oh, Henry Landry?"

"That's the fella..." He snorted again as he looked at his computer screen, back at the paper, and then at Sam. He said, "Well, that astronomy paper I've got my kids doing... he's literally copied and pasted most of it from Google. I knew there was something wrong when he was using different words for the same terms and acronyms suddenly popped up without any explanation. You know, for a rich kid, he's kinda stupid. He could at least have made it all one font and made some attempt to disguise the fact that, with the exception of his name and student number, it's totally plagiarised."

She looked in the direction of the man on her left when he said something. He said, "You're going to have to put your foot down. It's setting a bad example if he gets away with things just because his Dad's a General and his uncle's the college president."

The man on her right snorted once again. He said, "Try telling that to Dean Brown-Nose. As long as big Daddy General is the biggest donor, we've gotta put up with this stuff."

Sam frowned in disbelief. She said, "That isn't right... why bother even attending if he's going to just buy his way through college?"

The man on her right shot her a withering look. He sighed and said patronisingly, "You see, Blondie... he has to attend otherwise it makes a mockery of the whole system."

"Surely this is making a mockery of the system."

He paused, as though he realised something. He then said, "Yes, but at least he's showing up, I guess." He sighed. "You know what? I think I'm gonna fail him right now. Dean hasn't shouted at me all morning."

"He shouted at you when you walked in."

"That was quite a while ago. I can't remember much of it." He put the paper down, and looked at Sam. "So... what are you doing tonight, Blue Eyes?"

The man on her left shook his head as he returned to marking his papers. Sam glared at the man on her right coldly. She said, "Grading papers and changing diapers, Rodney. You're welcome to do the last one."

He was about to say something when the door suddenly opened wide. They all looked up in surprise, partially expecting to see their other colleague, and expecting him to have another verbal brainstorm in his native language. Instead, Daniel was there with a tired Maddie in his arms. Sam instantly got up, realising that something was wrong; judging by the panicked expression on his face and that he appeared to be hastily dressed.

Sam's heart pounded in her chest when she thought that there was something wrong with Maddie. Before she could ask, Daniel shook his head as though he had sensed the way her thoughts had gone. He said, "Maddie's fine." He paused, as though scared to say what he had come to tell her. He then said,

"Sam... it's Mitchell. He's..."

Ignoring Rodney's remarks, Sam turned back to her other colleague. She said, "Bill, can you cancel my classes today? I have to go."

Bill nodded, looking worried. He said, "Sure. Go on. I'll sort it out."

Sam didn't let Daniel finish what he was going to say. She sprinted past him, running down the corridor and then up a couple of flights of stairs. She didn't care that Daniel couldn't keep up with her as a single thought obscured everything else.

Her worries were confirmed when she sighted an emotionless Tessa being helped out of a room by a colleague. Sam nodded at the colleague, and said, "It's okay, Doctor Balinsky."

Balinsky nodded, not sure of what to say as he hung back helplessly. Sam instantly hugged Tessa, and she whispered, "Honey, I'm so sorry."

Tessa's emotionless façade crumbled and she burst into tears. She clung onto her sister-in-law as though scared that if she let her go, she could lose everyone else in her life too. She said between sobs, "He left me. He said he wouldn't. He promised he'd come back. He promised."

Sam held onto her tighter as she too began to cry. The possibility had always been there that she would lose Cam one day. But he was a brother to her, and she had been much closer to him in recent years than even with her own brother.

Some time had passed. She was aware of Balinsky leaving at some point. Daniel hushed a now upset Maddie. Sam finally let Tessa go, and Daniel approached them. Heartbroken to see his sister and his wife so upset, he touched Sam's shoulder. Sam looked at him, and he said quietly,

"He's not dead, Sam."

Tessa looked up at him in earnest through her tears. Daniel glanced at his sister and continued, "There was a skirmish with enemy forces over Basra and his plane came down, killing his co-pilot. They haven't told me much else... but they're flying him to Colorado Springs today. He should be at Peterson base by the evening. From there, they'll move him to the Academy Hospital."

The two women stared at him for a moment. They then hugged each other and started crying all other again; this time for a slightly different reason. Still holding Maddie, Daniel rubbed Tessa's back and hugged Sam.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

He could hear sounds. There were people talking. Once every so often, he was prodded with something or other. Ordinarily, he would have protested... but it felt as though he had no control over his body. All he could see was black, as though his eyes weren't working; his ears clearly were. Perhaps he was dreaming. He had to admit that his dreams didn't usually involve being prodded by people he couldn't see.

The last thing he remembered, he was flying. It had just been a simple reconnaissance mission. The next thing he knew, they had come under fire. It had all happened so fast. The fighter had taken a hit; they had lost a turbine. There was nothing quite as scary as the safest thing in the sky suddenly tumbling downwards towards the Earth. He couldn't even eject to safety.

He still felt it now: that sharp sickening feeling as they plummeted. He remembered there being some broken glass and some flames. His co-pilot Banks wasn't answering him. Where was he? There was an explosion, and then nothing until he slowly became aware of there being people around him.

It suddenly dawned on him where he must be. He was in a hospital. That was all he could work out. His panic lessened as he figured then that the people who were poking him were presumably qualified to do so.

He must have crashed. Shit. That would put a dent in his flying career. Flying was all he had. Panic grew again as he made a stark realisation. What if he had lost his legs? His father had lost his legs in a crash and he had never been the same again. He couldn't do that; he couldn't lose being in the Air Force. He didn't know what he would be but he knew that Tessa didn't deserve being burdened with him.

Suddenly there was light. He thought for a moment that he was having a flashback. However, his eyes soon focussed on what appeared to be a nurse next to his bed. She appeared to be changing his saline drip. She was saying something but he wasn't sure what. She was smiling so it can't have been serious. She was also very pretty.

It was daylight outside from what he could see through the window. How long had he been here? He was about to try his hand at speaking when he closed his eyes and it was dark again.

When there was light again, there was a doctor and a nurse leaning over him. It was becoming harder to breath properly. Was he dying? They seemed to be doing something to his chest; he wasn't quite sure what. He heard the nurse say,

"Respiration is weak."

The doctor then said, "He's bleeding internally. I need an ultrasound…"

That sounded bad. He felt himself slipping back into the darkness but this time he tried to fight against it. The doctor and the nurse, and whatever they were doing, were soon forgotten as all became dark.

He opened his eyes again and there was an Air Force officer standing by his bed. He recognised him from somewhere but he didn't know where. The officer said, "First Lieutenant Adam Banks's body was recovered at 0843 this morning... I'm sorry, Major."

He thought he had only blinked. This time, however, it appeared to be Christmas. There was a rather gaudy model of a snowman and some other stuff. He was about to wonder how much time had passed when he noticed who was in the room. His mother was there and she looked really worried. Just how badly injured was he? Dammit. She was upset. She had had to visit his father the same way... maybe he too would never walk again.

She said, "Oh my. Cameron?"

Yeah, he was in trouble. She only called him that when he had been bad or was hurt. He became keenly aware that there was something down his throat but for some reason he wasn't choking on it. He wanted to tell her he was okay, even if he didn't believe it himself.

She too disappeared as everything gave way to the darkness.

He then became aware of the doctor talking to him. The drip seemed to have moved to his right where before it had been on his left when he remembered vaguely a nurse adjusting it. It didn't appear to be Christmas any more. Where was everyone? Had Tess come to see him? He hated the idea of her seeing him like this but he needed to see her.

The doctor was still talking. "... make the chance of you walking quite slim. But with physiotherapy, hopefully…"

Shit, he was going to be just like his Dad. He closed his eyes.

He opened them again and his chest immediately started aching. There she was. He had dreamed about her for so many nights. She appeared to be reading something. Typical. He had missed her like crazy. He blinked and was surprised when he still saw her rather than completely different people. He tried to speak but found himself unable to. He saw the door open and Tess looked up. There was Sam. Sam noticed that he was watching and soon Tess did. They both went to his bedside, asking him so many questions that he couldn't focus on any one question.

All he could focus on, however, was that Tess seemed to have put some weight on. She was pregnant. How long had he been out? Had she moved on with her life? Was she happy?

Before he could wonder any more, his surrogate sister and his girlfriend faded into the darkness.

When he opened his eyes again, there was a group of Air Force officers in dress blues. What, they having a funeral for him right now? He frowned as he concentrated on what the one at the front was saying.

"The Congressional Medal of Honour is the highest award for valour in action against an enemy force that can be bestowed upon an individual serving in the Armed Services of the United States of America. On behalf of the President…"

Oh goody, he was getting a medal.

He blinked, and the Air Force officers were gone. He was aware of someone holding his hand. He tried to look up but everything started hurting again. They had definitely drugged him. The pain felt dull yet still intense. He wanted to go to sleep again; this was too much. He gradually became aware that someone was speaking to him, and then that that someone was Tess.

She moved her chair forward so he could see her. She was definitely a sight for sore eyes, although his eyes still remained sore.

"... I was thinking we could name him after your co-pilot and maybe Grandpa." She smiled as she smoothed his forehead, but he could see that she was barely holding onto her emotions. She said, "I'm betting he'll have your eyes."

His eyes moved and he could see that she was quite big. She saw where his gaze was and she held his hand again. She asked him, "Do you want to feel your son?"

A son? She was... Oh my. She must have been pregnant before he had left for Iraq. He wanted to smile. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her and dance around the room. But he couldn't. He might never walk again, let alone dance. He wasn't even sure he'd leave the hospital.

She slowly moved his hand so that it was resting on her bump. He closed his eyes, and then opened them suddenly on feeling something move. His son had just kicked him. He smiled, or at least he thought he had smiled.

He looked up at Tess to see that she was crying. She held his hand to her face and he closed his eyes as he felt her skin for the first time in however-long. A resolve grew within him. He made a silent promise to her and to his unborn child.

Screw the doctor. He was going to walk again.


	12. Chapter 12

Sam was seated by the large window of the apartment's living room area. Balanced on her lap were some papers, with some books rather precariously perched on the window sill near a row of potted plants. She frowned at the papers for a while as she annotated some of them. Sighing tiredly, she put the papers down on top of the books. She then took her glasses off and leaned back in her chair. She closed her eyes as she savoured the feeling of the warm sunshine.

It was about the only comfort that she had left these days. She was worried about a lot of things – whether Cam would truly recover, how Tessa was coping, a lot of work related pressures, and of course, Daniel had seemed to fade into the background without a fight. She hadn't had many opportunities to talk to him and she was worried. She knew he tended to clam up or get sarcastic whenever she confronted him, so she wanted him to come to her in his own time.

However, he still hadn't, and it had been some months since he had been attacked.

One problem with marrying psychologists, she thought, was not knowing how to deal with them when they needed help.

She sighed again. It wasn't as though things were falling apart. There were no rows... but they didn't really speak any more except around his sister. It was as though they were drifting apart and she didn't like that idea. Before, whenever he was silent, she knew what he was thinking and it was okay, but now, it unnerved her. She felt that she needed to know what he was thinking; how he was feeling, but she was unsure as to how to get him to open up to her.

She had asked his friend, Janet, who had been uncharacteristically guarded about it all. Janet had simply said, "Give him time."

But how much time was she to give him? They hadn't been able to take a break since _it_ had happened, and then one thing had led to another. Because of Tessa's condition, and of course, because of Cam's, they had even missed Christmas and New Year celebrations with their families. Pressure was building up at home and at work, and it felt as though they were reaching breaking point. She didn't know what would happen.

Sam opened her eyes when she felt someone tugging on her wrist. She looked down to see an anxious Maddie looking up at her and speaking in a language which she herself was still having trouble with. Sam sighed. Daniel hadn't had time for her but at least, in a way, he had made time to be with their daughter.

Sam attempted to answer as she hastily tried to remember all the Dutch she had been taught so far. She then gave up resignedly, and she said, "Sweetie, come on, in English this time – Mom's flunking Dutch. Um... ik spreek geen Nederlands."

Maddie began to whine and a worried Sam picked her up and sat her down on her lap. Sam looked at her in concern and said, "Madeleine, what's wrong?"

Maddie whined again and shook her head. She rested her head against her mother's shoulder, and Sam almost flinched at the heat she was feeling through the material of her shirt. Sam then felt Maddie's forehead, and said, "Oh, honey, you're burning up."

Maddie cried as Sam got up and carried her into her own room. She lie the child down in the crib, and she ran to the bathroom to get a wet flannel. Sam fled back on hearing Maddie cry and scream, and Sam called, "I'm coming back!"

As she ran, she noticed that an alert Isis was looking up at her from the back of the sofa.

Sam quickly lifted Maddie out of the crib when it became apparent that the little girl had vomited. Almost crying, Sam then fled with the girl to the bathroom where she removed her soiled clothes and cleaned her up. She grimaced at the vomit on her own clothes, and then when Maddie vomited again.

Sam couldn't help but cry as she felt herself overwhelmed by her child's distress and the overpowering stench of vomit. Sam wrapped Maddie in a towel when she recognised the Dutch word for 'cold', and when she left the room to get the phone, she uttered an expletive-laden sentence directed at her absent husband.

After calling 911, Sam called Daniel and did her best not to insult him outright. She sighed when she disconnected the phone; she couldn't blame him that their daughter refused to speak anything but Dutch when she was upset. It was her fault for not being more attentive.

She hated this. It appeared to be one emergency after the other; as though their lives recently had taken to them lurching from one disaster to another. She was a trained emergency medical technician – it had been part of her job when she was working at the fire department... but it seemed that all that training left her head when family members were hurt or sick.

She coaxed the girl into drinking some water and was relieved when Maddie appeared to be able to hold it down. However, her relief was short-lived when Maddie then vomited all over her. Maddie started crying, and then Sam cracked. She sat on the edge of the bath and cried hard; not just for her daughter, but for the events of the past few months.

When Daniel arrived – ironically, but unsurprisingly before the emergency services – he found Maddie bawling as she sat on the counter top, and Sam kneeling on the floor with silent tears running down her cheeks.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam looked up as Daniel emerged from Maddie's room. She was seated on the sofa with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders; she still appeared shaken but far less upset than she had been. She asked, concerned,

"How is she?"

Daniel hadn't stopped frowning since he had come home. He said, "She's okay; she's sleeping."

"Good." She looked ahead and then down at her hands.

He appeared awkward as he watched her, as though he wasn't used to being near her and wasn't sure of what to do. He sighed as he sat down next to her, but she was keenly aware of how much space was between them. He usually sat much closer than that to her. Fresh doubt filled her and she wondered what she had done wrong.

She didn't want to face that right now. Their daughter needed them, and arguing or rowing in the next room wasn't going to help. Deciding to keep it neutral, she said, "I hate it... I have all this training but it's useless whenever you or Maddie are involved."

Daniel sighed again as he removed his glasses and leaned back on the sofa. He glanced at her, and she tentatively looked back at him. He said, "It's only a bug... but I can imagine how scary it must have been." His gaze fell to the coffee table. "I..."

He stalled, as though unsure of what to say. How could he say what he was going to say? He couldn't even begin to word it. Sensing this uncertainty, Sam looked back at him. She hesitated and leaned back. She rested her hand on his thigh like she used to do, and she was relieved when he didn't move. She said quietly,

"I don't know what's happening to us... I don't know what's happening to you. I just want you back."

He suddenly appeared very sad. He looked at her and then looked away as though he had touched fire. He said, "It just doesn't feel right." He added hastily, "It's not you – it's me. It really is." He leaned forward and put his head in his hands. "It's like I _want_ to push everyone away. I want you to hate me and you don't."

Sam was dismayed when he looked up to see that he was now crying. He continued angrily, "Why don't you hate me?"

Mortified, she hugged him tightly. As tears filled her eyes, she whispered in his ear, "Daniel, I could never hate you." They were both crying by this point. She said, "I wish you'd let me in and let me help you. I don't know what to do but you keep shutting me out. I know everything's been hard lately, but that's no reason to push me away."

"I..." He stalled again, not knowing what to say or how to say it. He said, "I spent years treating people – different people – for all sorts of mental conditions... but when it's me, I don't know the first thing." He glanced at her. "I thought maybe if I just concentrated on staying upright and doing my job, I'd be fine... but it's a struggle to even do that sometimes."

Sam held him in her arms, unsure of what to say. He was the one with the words – he was the one with years of psychological training and experience. He said quietly, "It just, you know... it feels wrong feeling like this. You've got enough to worry about without me being a burden on you."

She looked at him in partial surprise. She then appeared glum as she held onto him. She said, "You're not a burden... and I've really needed you lately. I mean, okay, I always need you, but I really needed you, and you kept pushing me away."

He sighed silently as he visualised himself opening up, baring all his thoughts to the light. His eyes appeared red-rimmed as he looked over her shoulder, unseeing. He said, "I'm sorry I couldn't be the husband you wanted... or deserve for that matter."

She rubbed his back and willed herself not to cry. She said, "We're supposed to work together. I need to know when you're hurting and I need to be able to help; even if I don't know which end is up, you should still let me in. It's been really hard. I can't do this by myself, Daniel."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam returned from checking on Maddie for the countless time. After a quick check of the lights and locks, she entered her bedroom. She found Daniel sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, the archaeologist dressed only in a pair of boxer shorts as he read a book without his glasses. She smiled a little despite the sadness and despair that she felt. She sat next to him on the bed and watched him. He closed the book and put it to one side before returning her gaze.

For the first time in a long while, she felt as though things would go back to how they had been. She was further assured of this when he smiled. He had a nice smile when he was happy. Her smile widened and she glanced downwards. She said,

"I know I don't say it as much as I should... but I love you."

He affectionately touched the tip of her nose. He said, "I thought as much. I love you too."

He said it with as much conviction and sincerity that she was almost driven to tears. She smiled instead however. He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand and he kissed her. She closed her eyes, feeling things she hadn't felt in a while. She laughed when he became playful and his kisses moved to her neck.

He stopped and she immediately missed his touch. He looked at her incredulously, and said, "What's so funny?"

She grinned as she held his hands, amused at his self-doubt. She said, "You. I like it when you're happy."

He raised an eyebrow and said, "What makes you think that I'm happy?"

She neglected to mention a rather prominent sign. She said, "You relax when you're happy."

Her smile faded as she glanced at the bed and realised that it was their first night in a long time where they didn't have to comfort Tessa. She suddenly felt guilty as she looked down at their hands. He touched her cheek, and said, concerned, "I asked. I did ask. She flatly refused to come here. She threatened to start throwing things the last time I asked."

Sam continued to look down at their hands. She said, "But she's struggling. She shouldn't have to be by herself."

"She'll be okay, Sam. I think being near Mitchell – even in his condition – is going to help her much more than we can. Remember why she was staying with us to begin with."

She nodded slowly as though reluctantly admitting something to herself. She then looked up at him as he caressed her cheek and her neck. She kissed him again, and pushed him back onto the bed so that he was lying in his usual sleeping position. She smiled as she resumed kissing him, her hands on his shoulders as she felt his hands on her waist. He had big hands.

He found himself smiling again as a warm feeling burst within him. It felt so good to feel loved again and to be able to love without reservations. She had been right – she needed him, but he also needed her just as much. They were in it together.

When they broke apart, she looked into his eyes, seeing them alight with joy. He gazed at her, feeling as though everything was possible; as though everything was going to be all right. His fingers traced her lips as he looked up at her, and he said,

"I'm going to be an uncle."

She laughed a little, and said, "You're already an uncle to Mark's kids."

"You know what I mean."

She smiled. She did. There was nothing quite like being uncle or aunt to one's own sibling's offspring. She kissed his neck and continued to gaze at him. She was about to slide off him but he stopped her. He turned to kiss her arm, her hands still on his shoulders. He said, "I like having you here."

She smiled again, amused. She said, "I like being here too, but sleeping like this could get uncomfortable."

He was about to make a joke but then stopped and frowned a little. He looked in concern towards the wall they shared with their daughter's room. He said quietly, "I don't think it would be a good idea to follow through with my plan right now."

She didn't say anything as she rested her head under his chin, and his arms came around her. Recalling her utter helplessness earlier grounded her, and reminded her yet again that they had responsibilities. She murmured,

"Do you think she's going to be all right?"

He frowned slightly as he looked up at the ceiling. He stroked her back, and said, "She will. It's just a stomach bug."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

An emotionless Cam was helped back into his wheelchair by his physiotherapist. Tessa watched from her seat at the edge of the therapy room, the archaeologist appearing worried. She was more worried about how he was feeling. Other than that, she thought he was making great progress, but she knew how impatient he could be. Also, he had put himself under a lot of pressure because of the baby.

She watched as the physiotherapist said something to Cam, who didn't appear to respond. He then grabbed the top of the wheels of his chair and spun around abruptly. The physio, concerned, looked in Tessa's direction, but she shrugged helplessly. She then got up, albeit slowly. It was moments like this when she wondered how women had been able to go through pregnancy and childbirth since the dawn of human existence. She could barely lift herself up, and there was still a way to go – would she require a crane in coming months?

She finally got up and approached Cam who appeared to be quietly angry. She instantly knew he was blaming himself. The physio hastily fetched a chair for Tessa, and she took a seat next to Cam. Tessa said, "Hey, you."

He didn't look at her as he said quietly, "Hey."

She was seated next to him but facing the other way. She looked up at him, trying to look into his eyes. She reached for his hand and he finally met her gaze. Worried, she said, "Cam, you're doing great, okay? You know me – I don't overuse that word. Please don't hurt yourself by pushing too hard, because you're not going to help if you're laid up any longer than you already have been."

Cam churlishly turned to look at her. He said coldly, "If I don't get better, I'm going to be no help to you at all."

Tessa gently kissed the hand that she held. She looked him straight in the eyes unwaveringly. She said, "One step at a time, Cameron."

She put an arm around his chest in order to hug him, and he rested his head against hers. With her other hand, she ran her fingers through his hair, and he closed his eyes. He smiled. It wasn't a big smile by any means, but it was still the first time he had felt like smiling since coming home. He said quietly,

"Come on, let's go. I'll try wrangle you a wheelchair too. No reason you gotta suffer along with your crazy boyfriend."

Tessa let go of him and looked at him affectionately. She caressed his brow, and said, "You know, I think fiancé has a better ring to it."

Cam blinked slowly as though she had just told him she was going skiing. He said, "You sure? Last time I even mentioned the 'm' word, we ended up not speaking for a day."

She kissed him on the cheek and he was dismayed on realising that her eyes were moist. She glanced away from him, and she said, "Well, short-sighted archaeologists tend to do a lot of thinking when their boyfriends are away." She sighed as she looked at him. "The fact is Cam... I'd jump off any bridge with you. This is just one more bridge, and..." She smirked mischievously. "... no-one else is going to want a pregnant woman."

He glared at her for a moment but then realised he couldn't keep it up. He then grinned at her, and said, "Hot damn! You finally said 'yes'... albeit in your own way."

Tessa kissed him again. She then said, "Don't worry about everything... my parents won't be back from Egypt 'til the summer. You've got plenty of time to do your thing."

He frowned and said, "You didn't tell them?"

She shrugged helplessly. "Cam, it might have escaped your notice, but I'm not exactly sure of how to deal with things most of the time. It was a couple of months before Daniel and Sam found out."

"You could have said."

She folded her arms across her chest defensively. She said, "I could have but I didn't, Major Mitchell." She cocked her head in the direction of the door as her expression softened. "Anyway, come on." She laid on a heavy southern accent. "Let's go get some good eats."

He snorted with laughter and said, "I never say that." He paused. "Okay, maybe once... but I was probably being funny."


	13. Chapter 13

_'groot broeder' is Dutch for 'big brother'_

_also, there's mention of Cam/Vala in this chapter_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel carried Maddie over his shoulder as she swung her sippy cup around instead of drinking from it. She appeared to be much healthier than she had been, especially judging by the various noises she was making as she hit her father's back with the cup. He walked through the automatic doors and stopped at the reception desk. He fumbled in his pocket for his wallet and then showed his driving licence to the receptionist. He moved Maddie so that she was on his hip, looking around shyly.

He said to the receptionist, "Hi, I'm here to see my sister, Tessa Jackson. She should be with Major Mitchell."

The receptionist pressed a few keys on the computer keyboard in front of her. After looking at the screen for a few moments, she looked up at Daniel. She said, "Major Mitchell's currently in physiotherapy on level 3." She then looked apologetic as she glanced at Maddie. "I'm afraid you can't take the child with you."

Daniel closed his eyes briefly in exasperation. Rules annoyed him most of the time. He said, "Look, I'm only going to be here a half hour. My daughter wants to see her aunt."

The receptionist appeared guilty. "I'm sorry, Sir. Rules are rules. If you take her, we're not covered if she catches anything, or vice versa."

He sighed and said, "Look..."

"I can get someone to escort your sister down, if you'd like."

"No, she's six months pregnant." He sighed again.

"Or she could stay here... your daughter. My boss doesn't encourage it but..." She shrugged and then smiled at him warmly. "... I have a brother like you."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Where's the little Oma?"

Daniel sighed again for the countless time that day. What was it about him that made certain people exasperate him? Tessa wheeled herself over to him, the younger Jackson looking annoyed. He said, tiredly,

"I had to leave her at reception."

"Damn, you know, I wanted to see her."

Daniel shook his head in despair. He glanced around the waiting room and then looked at her. He said, "How's that boyfriend of yours doing?"

Tessa shrugged as she looked away. He didn't miss the sadness in her eyes though. She said, "Well, you know... he has his moments."

She looked up at him, unshed tears in her eyes. A worried Daniel crouched down in front of her and held her hands. She said, "He's okay... it's just that he tries so hard. Too hard. A couple of times he's had to go back to bed because he's ripped something or other." Her shoulders dropped. "I sure do know how to choose them, don't I? I agreed to marry a guy who doesn't know when to stop."

He smiled a little as he looked down at her hands and then at her bump. He said, "Well, he's a male version of you..." She was about to hit him when he suddenly realised something. He looked at her, shocked. He said, "Wait a minute... you've agreed to marry him?"

Tessa smiled shyly and she nodded. She said, "Yep. I'm not sure we'll have the time to get married with the baby and him not being able to walk yet... but it's something to look forward to."

He grinned as he hugged her, not noticing her tears. He then held her hands tightly and said, "I'm so happy for you. Both of you. Wait 'til Sam hears."

As he handed her a tissue, she asked, "Speaking of my sister-in-law, where is she?"

"Oh, she's at work. I don't have to go in 'til later this afternoon so I've got Madeleine until then."

Tessa looked sad again. "How's she doing? Sam told me about the bug."

"She's all right. Janet suggested giving her a lot of fluids, but all Maddie's done with that sippy cup is whack me on the back with it." He pouted a little. "I think I might have a bruise."

She whacked him on the shoulder. "You deserve it." She watched him, a thoughtful look on her face. She asked, "How are you doing?"

He nodded as he got up and she wheeled alongside him as he went to take a seat. He exhaled as he sat down. He then said, "Fine, you know. It's just been a tough few months." He rubbed his face with his hands. He glanced at a door, and then asked, "So... when's Mitchell gonna be done?"

"An hour or so. He's banned me from sitting in on his physio sessions now... He doesn't want me seeing him overdoing it. He can be such a stubborn ass sometimes."

Daniel smiled but didn't say anything. Tessa glared at him. He asked, "So, how about I take you out to dinner? You've haven't set foot outside of this place since... well, since before Christmas. As I seem to remember, it took the combined forces of us and Mitchell's Mom to get you to go for a walk."

She glared at him coldly. She said, "Screw you." She sighed, appearing to reconsider. "What the hell, I might as well. Cam's just gonna be all moody when he's done anyway." She smiled slightly as she struggled to get up from the chair. "And besides, while I like being able to move in this thing, I feel like a mountain."

He got up quickly in case she fell. He said, worried, "Maybe you should get back in it. We're using the elevator."

"Whatever. The little brat in here could use the increased blood circulation from me actually walking."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Tessa grinned as she and her brother were seated at an outdoor terrace of a restaurant. She bounced her niece on her knee as the little girl now drank from her sippy cup. Daniel looked from one to the other, and then shook his head slightly. As he handed the menus back to the waiter, he said,

"You know, she's been refusing to drink from that thing all day."

Tessa appeared amused as she stroked Maddie's head as the toddler leaned against her chest. Maddie appeared to drift off. Tessa said, "Well, groot broeder, Jackson women like rebelling against Jackson men. It's a genetic thing."

"Huh."

Tessa looked around herself, at the bustling tables around her. She breathed deeply, savouring the smell of the outdoors. She finally looked at her brother, who looked back at her, an eyebrow raised. She suddenly felt shy. She said,

"What?"

He smiled and glanced away. He said, "Nothing." He paused. "You look like you've never been outside before."

"It feels like it."

She smiled down at Maddie. Daniel noticed though that it wasn't a full smile. It was as though something heavy weighed on her mind. He could guess the burdens she carried, but it still didn't feel right to him that she insisted on struggling alone. She shouldn't have to when she had him and Sam, and when she had all of their friends.

But it was typical of her. She had always been as headstrong and reckless.

Tessa finally noticed that Daniel was watching her. She flashed him her typical 'what-the-hell' look. She then said, "Danny, I'm fine."

He looked at her seriously and her face fell as she realised what he was about to say, or at least what he wanted to say. She said, "No... I'm not moving in with you again. You shouldn't have to..." She gently covered Maddie's ears with her hands. Despite this, she continued in a hushed voice, "... hide in the bathroom to have sex in your own apartment." Her brow wrinkled in disgust. "Okay, I didn't just say that."

Daniel put a hand to his forehead briefly in quiet despair as she removed her hands from the side of the child's head. He said, "You're staying with us and that's that. You shouldn't be on your own when the baby comes. You know Mitchell isn't going to be in a fit state to help you by then."

She was about to object, when he raised a hand. She looked at him incredulously, as though surprised that he expected her to be silent. Annoyed, he rolled his eyes at her expression. He then said, "Look, I've talked to Mitchell about it and he's fine with it."

Her expression immediately hardened, and her voice became dangerously low. She said cautiously, "What?"

He looked at her challengingly. He said, "We talked to Mitchell. Sam and I talked to him the last time we were here. You're moving in with us."

She forgot to cover the toddler's ears as she uttered an expletive. He stared at her coldly and said, "Tessa Amelia Jackson, I'll thank you not to repeat that word again around your niece."

Tessa blew a raspberry at Daniel. When she caught a passing patron giving her an odd look, she then looked at her, and snapped, "What are you looking at?"

Daniel eventually smiled reassuringly at his sister. He said, "Tess, we're all here for you. For once in your life, stop running away from people." As he took a whining Maddie from her aunt, he said, "And I'm not coming home 'til after sun down, so you and Sam can bitch off about me, or whatever you do when I'm not around."

She tried hard to look annoyed at him. She wanted to be, but she knew that he had her best interests at heart, even if she knew her best interests involved being left to her own devices. She then smiled reluctantly. She retorted, "Don't flatter yourself, Danny."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cam was seated on a bench in the grounds of the hospital. He looked up at the clear blue sky and found himself smiling. If he didn't concentrate, he could pretend that he was back home in Kansas. For brief moments at a time, he could forget his pain and remember the good times. He focussed on the sounds of the trees rustling, and he was almost convinced that he was at his parents' farm. He liked the memories that surrounded that place.

He closed his eyes and he recalled a particularly balmy night when he had taken Tessa home. They had quietly sneaked out of the house. They had made love under the stars in one of his father's fields, surrounded only by bales of hay. He had never told her just how that night had moved him; how it had felt as though he was soaring towards the stars; how alive he had felt. Of course, he hadn't. He was a man and men didn't talk like that.

But after his brush with death, it made him think of all the things he had never said. Perhaps he should say them at some point because he was certain that next time, he wouldn't be so lucky. If indeed there would be a next time.

He was brought back to reality with a harsh jolt when he felt a hand hold his. He didn't want to go back. He was in pain and a cripple. He reluctantly opened his eyes and looked down at the hand holding his. Sam was seated next to him with Maddie sleeping against her shoulder. Sam looked at Cam in deep concern. She said quietly,

"Cam, I've said this a lot already, but you're not alone. Don't worry about Tess."

Cam hummed briefly. He said, "I'm betting she bit Jackson's head off earlier."

Sam tried not to smile. "What do you think? This is Daniel's sister we're talking about... _he's_ bad enough."

"Point taken." He smiled weakly. "So we married the stubborn-assed crazies." He paused. "Okay, you married one; I'm engaged to one."

She went ahead and smiled this time. She said, "We like the lunatic fringe." She chuckled softly. "Like when you and Val were dating."

"Aw, hell, don't remind me." He looked at her somewhat earnestly. "I did like her, but we just didn't have anything in common... and..." He looked down at his hands. "... she could never stick to one man... or two..."

She sighed almost despairingly as she thought of her friend. She said, "Jonas is going to see that sooner or later. T said something about him actually getting into a fight with Jack at work when Jack cracked another joke about Val and police officers."

She looked up thoughtfully. She then nudged him gently. She said, smiling, "I like my stubborn-assed lunatic; how about you?"

He smiled bashfully. He said, "I more than 'like' her, _Samantha_."

Even though it hurt him considerably to do it, he rested his head against her shoulder. He closed his eyes, feeling increasingly tired. A worried Sam looked down at him. She said, "Cam?"

He kept his eyes closed and said, "I'm fine... don't move. I haven't slept against anyone for six months."

She looked at him sceptically. "Uh, Cam... far be it from me to actually have to point this out, but... if I don't kill you, Daniel will... and Tessa most definitely will have your ass on a platter."

He retorted tiredly, "You know, ever since you and Jackson shacked up, you've got such a dirty mind. Just stay here for a few minutes."

If he concentrated hard enough, the past couple of years fell away, and he was back living with Sam again. He clearly recalled many times when he had fallen asleep next to her on the sofa when she had made him watch a chick flick. At least he thought they were chick flicks; the five minutes he was awake during them suggested that they most likely were.

There was also the times when he had been ill, and she had stayed by his side. She had always been there to nurse him back to health and ensure that he behaved himself.

Sometimes, he wished that she really was his sister. She had helped him so much over the years; more than his own sisters ever had. It had hurt when they had all moved away and had got on with their lives, but it had somehow seemed worse when Sam had moved out of their shared apartment. He had never admitted it to anyone, but he sometimes resented her ever meeting Daniel. But then he always chastised himself for thinking that, because he knew that in the past couple of years, she had been the happiest he had ever seen her.

Until he had met Tessa, he had never understood how one person could brighten up another person's life like Daniel appeared to have done with Sam. Looking at his parents, they were in love, but he suspected that his father had only married his mother because she seemed interesting. He had married her because she had a tendency to brighten up whichever room she walked in. They had fought a lot when he was growing up, and still did, as far as he was aware. It just seemed _them_ to bicker over the smallest of things, or rather his mother nagging his father into submission.

But with Tessa, what attracted him was that she was of a similar temperament and she spoke her mind. He liked that, because he knew then that he would always know where he stood. She wasn't one to hide her anger at him until she could take it no more, like previous girlfriends had.

He smiled slightly when he felt Sam's arm around him, and he silently thanked whatever or whomever had given him so many people who cared about him. He heard her whisper to him, "Tessa's here. I'll give you a few minutes."

He groaned, immediately missing her shoulder when she gently pushed him so that he was sitting up straight once again. He then felt himself being pushed back again, and this time, he was against another shoulder. It was different yet even more familiar than Sam's had been. His eyes were still closed, and he murmured,

"Tess."

If he had been a cat, he thought, he would have purred when he felt Tessa's fingers in his hair. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times when he found everything a little too bright at first. He then looked downwards to see the rather prominent external sign of their unborn child. He reached over to stroke her bump, and then he felt Tessa grab his hand as though she was scared that he would over-exert himself.

He then remembered something. He reached into the pocket of his dressing gown, grimacing weakly at the scratchy material rubbing against his hand. He then paused momentarily, before pulling something out. He held the closed fist out to her, and said quietly,

"I wanted to give it to you when I came home." He chuckled softly. "Didn't bank on coming home so soon."

Tessa looked from him to his fist and she felt as though her heart had stopped. Feeling a little scared, she opened his fist slowly. She then blinked in surprise when she saw what was in his hand. It wasn't what she was expecting, but she was surprised nonetheless that he still had it. He groaned as he sat up, feeling as though he had to fight with his body just to make the smallest of moves. He looked at her with a small smile.

He said, "You made me promise to bring it back to you."

She appeared close to tears as she looked at his hand, and then him. She took the necklace from him and gently pushed his hand back to where it had been. She said, "Cam, I don't care about the necklace." She then hugged him as best she could, considering her size. She cried quietly against his shoulder. "I care about you more than anything or anyone in the world."

Despite the pain, he held her in his arms. He moved her long hair from her shoulder, and he kissed her. He said, "Tess, I know I kinda crapped out here, but I came back to you... and I promise I'm gonna get better before the baby comes."

He looked her straight in the eyes as his hands went to the sides of her face. He said, "I just need you to believe in me. We can pull this off, okay? I'll get better, you'll have the baby, and we'll get hitched."

She retorted, annoyed, "Oh yeah, like that's so easy."

He smiled a little, amused at her attitude. He gently kissed her, and he stroked her hair. He said, "This whole thing is making me feel that it ain't over 'til it's over... and not even then. I know you're not up on the religious thing, but I believe I came back to you for a reason."

She remained silent, unsure of what to say. Sensing this, he caressed her jaw as he gazed at her lovingly. She then appeared shy as she met his gaze and then looked away again. She said, "What do you see when you look at me? You look like you've found El Dorado when you look at me like that."

He chuckled softly. He said, "I have no idea what 'El Dorado' is unless it's one of those soap operas on BBC America that Sam used to watch." He tenderly kissed the end of her nose. He then gazed at her lovingly. He said, "You want the truth?"

She looked at him stonily. "That would be helpful."

His hand dropped from her jaw to her neck, his thumb slowly moving up and down her skin as he rested his forehead against hers. He said quietly, "I see my future; my whole life." He then appeared curious. "Why do you ask?"

He didn't get an answer for a long while, not that he was complaining as she was kissing him instead. When she had left him sufficiently dazed and warm, she looked at him and he finally understood what she had meant when she had asked him that question. She smiled at him and he wondered, not for the first time, just what she was seeing.

She said, "No reason." Her smile widened. "That's what I see when I look at you."

He grinned at her, unable to believe, still, that she had agreed to marry him. He then reached for the necklace that she held, and he said, "Well, this cowboy's not going nowhere for a while; how about I put your necklace back on?"

She retorted, grinning, "It wouldn't suit you, Cam."

"Careful now, Tess, or I'm keeping it. Your granny's necklace be damned..."


	14. Chapter 14

"Well, when were _you_ planning on telling us? Seems if you didn't have a responsible brother, I'd have another heart attack by now."

Tessa hugged a cushion to her chest as she sat on the floor of her brother's apartment. She tried to be sad but she didn't feel it. She looked up at her father, who was trying to do the same thing. She smiled at him shyly and said,

"Oh, come on, Dad. You're not mad."

Melburn grunted a little at his protesting joints as he slowly joined her on the floor. He sat next to her and then looked at her. He said with the faintest of smiles, "No, I'm not." He held her hand as he continued to gaze at her. "It's just that you can't keep hiding things. I thought we agreed – no secrets."

She leaned against her father, her head on his shoulder. She sighed wistfully, and she said, "Dad, you really don't know how crazy things have been. I told you about what happened to Danny. I thought I could manage by myself, because him and Sam didn't need the extra drama."

He smiled again as he planted a tender kiss on her forehead. He said, "Oh, sweetie, one thing I learned about being married to your Mom is that drama is what makes life worth living. I'm sure Cam's already learning the same thing about you."

She chuckled softly and then sighed again. She looked up at her father, and said, "So, you're not mad? I mean, you know, aren't you supposed to be going to the hospital and looking at Cam meaningfully? Not that I actually want you to do that; it just seems something that a Dad would do."

Mel put an arm around his daughter and held her tight. He smirked for the briefest of moments. He said, "You know, Tess... I'm not even the slightest bit mad. I know he loves you and that you love him. That baby is going to be so lucky to be borne out of such love." He chuckled giddily. "I'm going to be a grandpa again."

He gazed at her, his eyes bright with happiness. He said, "Your Mom's started dyeing her hair again. It seems that having another grandchild on the way is making her feel really old."

Tessa laughed a little as she suddenly felt a whole lot happier than she had been. She said, "What about you, Dad?"

"Oh, I felt old after being married to your Mom for a year. After forty years, I'm falling to pieces." He gazed at her again, unable to express how happy he was. He said, "I'm so proud of you. I know you think we're all in love with Dan." He chuckled briefly. "Well, your aunts are. Your Mom is the only Ballard sister to have a boy. Anywho... your Mom and I, at least, love you both."

She quietly brushed away some silent tears as her insecurities finally began to weaken. Before her father could react to this, she hugged him tightly. She said, "Thanks, Dad. That means a lot."

He kissed her head as he held her. He said quietly, "If you're feeling up to it, we could go visit my future son-in-law." He looked down at her in concern. "How is he?"

Tessa burst into tears despite herself. When her father let her go, she looked down at her hands in despair. She said, "Peaks and troughs, Dad." She looked up at him. "He overdoes it and ends up undoing all the good he's done." Her shoulders slumped. "Dad, I can't make him understand that I need him to not be a stupid hot head for once."

He remarked seriously, "Well, seems you've met your match."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cam grunted in pain as he struggled to turn over in his bed. He was still in the hospital, his recovery much slower than he would have liked. Too slow. He was determined to be well enough for the birth of his son at the very least, but setbacks seemed to like him a lot. If he was ever going to write his biography, he contemplated calling it 'The Setback Kid'. It wouldn't be long until Tessa was due to give birth, and this setback was cutting it fine; very fine.

He stopped squirming, partly because of the pain, and partly because of a knock at his door. The door opened and he struggled to see who his visitor was. His usual visitors had never knocked. He froze in surprise on recognising the voice of the man who had entered the room.

"Hey, Mitchell, buddy. How's it hangin'?"

Cam beamed on recognising the tall man with a dark shock of cow-licked hair who was now standing over his bed. He said, "Hey, Sheppard!" He grimaced a little at the pain caused by the exuberant greeting. "What brings you out here?"

Sheppard pulled up a chair near to Cam's bed. He said, worried, "Dude, I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to come out to see you. Work's been crazy." He glanced at the injuries of Cam's which he could see. He said, "You're one lucky son-of-a-bitch, you know that?" Sheppard ran his fingers through his own hair slowly. "How are you feeling?"

Cam groaned a little, and then said, "Nothing I can't handle. It's just a scratch."

Sheppard looked mildly amused at Cam's remark. "You must be fucked up if you're quoting Python."

"Hey, so long as I'm not singing Cash songs, I'm doing fine."

Sheppard jokingly retorted, "And to think I brought the San Quentin prison recordings for you, you f'ugly chump."

Cam looked as though he had believed Sheppard for a short while. He then grinned and the two men touched fists. Cam asked, "You seen Sam yet? I can't remember the last time you dropped by."

"Well, I heard she got married. I don't know where she lives."

"Aww, she's shacked up with this great guy near Garden of the Gods. Wait 'til Tess gets here – she'll give you directions. I'm not supposed to be moving much now." Cam made a face. "I popped some stitches and doc said something about internal bleeding. Not sure how that works out seeing as the stitches were on the outside..."

Sheppard was about to speak but the door opened. He glanced at the doorway and then stared on seeing Sam there. She appeared shocked to see him for a long moment. She then grinned as she stepped into the room. She said,

"Shep!"

Sheppard grinned at her as they faced one another. He said, "Carter!"

He hugged her tightly. When he let her go, he lifted a strand of her hair in amusement. Sam appeared self-conscious at this. She said, "Uh, yeah, grew it out."

"Hey, well, it suits you. Man, so... you know, how have you been? Liz has dropped by but she doesn't know you all that well... although she used to have a thing with your husband."

Sam rolled her eyes in a quiet exasperation. She said, "Shep... it was just some study dates."

Sheppard winked mischievously. He said, "So they keep telling us... Man, who'd've thought we'd be marrying social geeks? That's pretty freaky, you gotta admit."

"It is... and they know each other." She smiled as she pulled up a seat next to his, and she looked at Cam. She asked, "Cam, how are you feeling today?"

Cam replied tiredly, "Like crap." He looked up at Sheppard and then back at Sam again. He said, "You know, you two should grab some coffee and catch up. I think this country boy's gonna get some sleep."

Sam got to her feet and smoothed his hair back as his eyes flickered. She then kissed him on the forehead, and said, "You know, my father-in-law's here. He's coming by when Tess has had a sleep."

Cam opened his eyes suddenly and he tried his best not to look scared. He said, "He's here? Oh... um, he didn't mention anything about killing me, did he?"

She appeared bemused. She then smirked. She said, "Cameron, you obviously don't know him very well if you think that much of him. He's just happy that you're alive."

Sheppard cleared his throat behind her. He said, "Yeah, so he can finish you off."

Cam groaned, and Sam turned to glare at Sheppard reprovingly. The latter shrugged, and said, "Hey, Dads are the same the world over when it comes to their daughters; no matter how liberal they appear to be."

Sam shook her head and looked back at a worried looking Cam. She said, "Just ignore Shep there. Dad won't do anything to you. He likes you."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Tessa drifted between sleeping and waking as she lie in bed in the room which she now shared with her niece. Over the course of however many hours, she had heard various sounds from the other side of the door. She had heard her Sam, Daniel, and her father talking at various times. She had heard her niece making a variety of noises, and she had heard Isis dart around when the cat got quite close to the door.

She also became aware of her lower back and parts of her abdomen tightening every so often. She closed her eyes, hoping that sleep would ease the ache in those areas. However, it just got worse. Eventually, the ache grew into a rather noticeable pain, and her eyes were filled with tears as she debated whether to leave her bed to get some painkillers. Each time she thought that maybe the tightening had stopped, it started again with brute force.

She didn't know what was happening; she didn't, until it felt as though she had lost control of her bladder. She sat up with a start. She didn't have time to feel scared when she had to lie back down again as the tightening sensation returned. She tried taking a deep breath but ended up crying out as the pain got unbearable.

The next thing she knew, the door flew open and someone had switched the light on. Tears ran down her face as she tried to make sense of what was happening to her. She was aware of someone talking into a phone, and in a lucid moment, she looked up to see Daniel holding her in his arms. She said, scared,

"Danny, I think the baby's coming. It hurts."

He held her tighter and kissed her brow, but she didn't miss the worry on his face. He said softly, "Help's coming, Tess. Just hold on."

"What about Cam? I can't do this without him."

She suddenly felt furious when all Daniel was shush her. If she hadn't been so incapacitated, she would have slapped him. She closed her eyes, trying to remember to do it when it was all over.


	15. Chapter 15

_'Liefie' = Sweetie (in Dutch)_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam paced the floor of the waiting room impatiently. She occasionally stopped to look at the doorway before resuming her pacing. Ordinarily, pacing wasn't something she tended to do, but with Daniel and Cam not being there, she felt the need to compensate. After all, it wasn't every day that her sister-in-law was giving birth at the same time that her surrogate brother was going under the knife again.

In the seats nearby were Jack, Janet, a sleepy-looking Cassie, and Melburn. Cassie had taken to falling asleep against her foster mother's shoulder for brief spells. After a while of waiting, Jack said wearily,

"Carter, sit down. You know just as well as I do that this could take a little while. Charlie took two days."

Sam glanced at him but didn't say anything. She felt too nervous to sit down. Too many people who were supposed to be there, weren't. But pacing around and taking deep breaths had made her a little dizzy from the extra oxygen inhalation. She wished frequently that she had accompanied her mother-in-law into the delivery suite, but there was something she had to do first.

She stopped on seeing Rodney in the doorway. He turned away briefly, and then into the room what appeared to be a video camera attached to some satellite equipment and a laptop on a trolley. Everyone stared at it, and Sam looked at the physicist sceptically. She said,

"Uh, Rodney... when I said 'webcam'..."

Rodney stared at her for a moment. He then looked at her reprovingly. He said, "You wanted something to relay real-time, or at least almost real-time images and sounds... _in sync_. And besides, with the shitty bandwidth in this place, the buffering would be ridiculous." He smiled smugly. "I've set up a satellite unit at the military hospital. All we have to do is switch this thing on and..."

Sam rolled her eyes and said, "Just do it."

When Rodney hesitated, Sam was ready to punch him. She said, stepping towards him, "Look, I'll do it."

She glared at him as she proceeded to push the camera out of the room. As she left, he awkwardly looked at where she had been. He then turned to see the others staring at him. He shrugged helplessly and then said sarcastically, "Uh, you want to even _try _to do something as technical as that while someone's screaming and oozing blood everywhere?" He snorted derisively. "Even _I _couldn't do that."

Rodney hesitated before leaving the room. Jack nudged Janet and remarked, "Pasty Canadian has a point." He glanced over the Frasiers at Melburn, who looked mildly worried. Jack got up and stretched. He then said to Mel, "Shrink Monkey Senior, you want some coffee? I'm buying."

Mel looked at him for a moment as though surprised that he was being spoken to. He then shook his head, and said quietly, "No, thanks, Jack."

"I'll take that as a 'yes' if your son's anything to go by." Jack nodded at Janet. "Napoleon Power Monger?"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel had been allowed into the operating room. It wasn't standard procedure, but not much about the situation could have been considered 'standard' in the traditional sense. He was dressed in scrubs as a surgical team worked on Cam, who had insisted on not having general anaesthetic when he had heard that his fiancée had gone into labour. Drugged to the gills, however, he stared up at a screen that hung above his bed.

Daniel's attention was drawn to the screen too as he watched with bated breath. He was going to be an uncle. He could barely believe it. He could see his mother at Tessa's side as the latter cried, and Daniel himself tried in vain to hold back the tears. It was far from an ideal situation, but at least Cam wouldn't miss the arrival of his first child, even if he would forget once the drugs had left his system.

He moved closer to Cam's gurney and reached for the Major's hand. While the surgeons proceeded to finish their work, Cam squeezed Daniel's hand tightly as they heard Tessa call out to him. She said, crying,

"Cam, he's not going to wait."

Cam closed his eyes, feeling absolutely rotten for not being able to be there in person. Daniel lifted a microphone to Cam's lips, and the Major said, "Let him come, baby. Push our kid into the world."

Eventually, Cam and Daniel were cheering Tessa on, and the surgical staff did too as they took to watching the satellite feed. After much screaming and crying, at last there was the sound that Cam had longed to hear the most – the sound of a baby screaming as it took its first breath. He sighed and closed his eyes as he finally gave into his overwhelming tiredness. He had been waiting for that. Breathing shallowly, he murmured,

"Oh, that's what I'm talkin' about, baby."

Daniel grinned, the archaeologist beside himself with joy. He looked as the camera on the other end of the connection zoomed in on his sister, and he watched as Tessa hold her son for the first time. She appeared tired but she was smiling. She held the baby's hand and said, exhausted, "Look..." She looked up at the camera. "... say 'hello' to Daddy, and Uncle Danny."

The camera panned to the rest of the room, and Daniel grinned on seeing his mother and his wife.

Daniel could contain himself no longer. He leaned down and kissed Cam on the forehead. Despite his condition, Cam smirked weakly. He said, "Didn't think I was your type, doc. I'm flattered."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Tessa closed her eyes. It had been long and hard, and she wondered frequently why she had gone through with the whole thing. But it had been worth it. She could barely believe it – she had brought a child into the world. She and Cam had made a life of their own together; a little person. She was already amazed by that, but she surmised that she would feel even more amazement when she was suitably rested. When 'suitably' would happen, she didn't know.

There was only one thing that made her sad. _He_ wasn't there. He should have been... and in a way it had been some consolation that he had been able to watch or at least listen. She had closed her eyes because she was tired, but also because of her tears.

She turned over and groaned when she heard the baby cry. Life was going to be completely different now – there was a baby now. She would have to look after him; feed him, and do everything that her own mother had done for her and Daniel, or what Daniel and Sam had had to do for Maddie. She didn't think she could do it. How could she? She had never done it before – she had always been the baby at home.

But the baby was crying – her baby. She groaned again as she tried to find the wherewithal to sit up in order to get to her feet. She opened her eyes, now wondering how she had let Cam forget about birth control that one time. She was about to force herself to sit up when she heard the sound of the door opening and closing. She then heard her mother's voice.

Claire said quietly, "Liefie, you should rest. Let Oma do the legwork."

Tessa watched from her bed as her mother tended to the baby. Her mother was a grandmother again. Tessa smiled weakly as she watched her mother and her son. Her son. She decided to be positive instead of returning to her doubts; it was so much easier. The clouds returned however when she thought of the boy's father.

She coughed to clear her throat. She said quietly, "Mom..."

Claire turned as she held the baby and supported his head. She looked at her daughter in concern, and said, "What is it?"

Tessa looked at her mother as though scared of what she might hear. She said, "Where's Cam? Is he okay?"

Claire looked sad for the briefest of moments as she sat down on the edge of her daughter's bed. She reached over to smooth Tessa's brow, and she said, "He's okay, Liefie. Sam called a few minutes ago. He's resting."

Claire looked up as the door opened and she smiled a little on seeing Daniel. Daniel looked momentarily anxious before his eyes fell on the baby his mother held. The archaeologist grinned as he entered the room. In his arms, he held a large bouquet of brightly coloured flowers and he held a paper bag. He placed these down on the bedside cabinet as his mother smiled at him. Tessa groaned again as she turned to lie on her back. On seeing Daniel, she closed her eyes and remarked,

"Took you long enough."

Daniel smiled as he leaned over her to kiss her forehead. He said quietly, "Well, someone had to be with your boyfriend." He smiled again. "Congratulations, munchkin."

Daniel made his way to where his mother was and he continued to beam as he watched the baby. He leaned down to kiss his mother on the cheek. He remarked with a smile,

"Congratulations, Oma."

Claire retorted good-naturedly, "You'll be in my shoes one day, boy." She glanced down at her grandson. "Here, take your nephew."

He carefully took the baby from her. He then held his nephew in his arms for the first time. He grinned as the baby squirmed, and he held a tiny hand. He looked at his mother and then at Tessa. He said,

"Have you chosen a name yet?"

Tessa murmured, "Well... I was kinda busy at the time... and I was hoping his daddy would do it."

Daniel exchanged a troubled glance with his mother. He then said brightly, "Well... the new dad suggested you name him after Opa."

Tessa sighed. "I don't know." She looked up at her brother meaningfully. "I wasn't the one who had issues with him. Did Cam say anything else?"

"He thought about his Dad as well. Frank."

Tessa smiled weakly as she realised something. She said, "I know what I want to call my boy. Cameron. He's going to be Cameron Mitchell Junior."

Claire said, smiling, "Good choice, liefie. That boy's going to be a lot like his father."

Daniel snorted with laughter suddenly. His wife and his sister looked at him in bewilderment. He shook his head and feigned innocence. He smirked a little as he said, "Sorry... that was number one on his list of what to _not_ call the kid."

Tessa retorted, "Tough. I'd like to see him try to stop me."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel and Sam lie together on their bed; the light of the bedside lamp casting a dusky glow over their immediate surroundings. They lie facing one another as a tired Sam tried not to fall asleep. Daniel, however, was far from sleepy. His hand was on her waist as he gushed about the day's events. He gently kissed her and said,

"I'm an uncle."

She smirked drowsily at his excitement. She was happy too, but she had barely had any sleep over the past couple of days. She said, "You're going to have another brother-in-law too."

He continued to beam as his gaze grew distant. He focussed on her again, and said, "You're going to get a brother-in-law."

She chuckled softly. "Well... he's always going to be the little brother that I never had." She hooked her arm around him, savouring the warmth of his body. She murmured, "Maddie finally has a Jackson cousin."

He smoothed her hair, the archaeologist looking absolutely carefree. He suddenly said, "Let's have another baby."

She groaned, partially out of the overwhelming tiredness she felt. She said exasperatedly, "Daniel, I haven't slept in two days. I also haven't lost all the weight from when I had Maddie. Oh, and three: I'm pushing forty. I just want to settle down for a little while... you know, maybe get a house."

He smiled as he nuzzled her throat and her shoulder. She groaned in further exasperation. She then laughed as she again tried not to fall asleep, knowing from experience that it would bruise his ego. She put her hands on his shoulders to stop him. When he looked at her, puzzled, she said in amusement,

"Daniel, your parents are in the next room."

He kissed her on the cheek as his smile faded. He said, bemused, "All you had to do was say you were tired."

She blinked, feeling a sense of incredulity. She said, "I did." She sighed as she rested her head against his chest, and his arms came around her. She said, "Daniel, look, I'm sorry... but if I fall asleep, you're going to get hurt again. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

He smiled as he kissed her head. He said quietly, "No need. There's always the morning."

She sighed tiredly, grumbling under her breath about happy archaeologists.


	16. Chapter 16

It was dark outside the next time Cam fully woke up. Still in his hospital bed, he opened his eyes and slowly surveyed his surroundings. The room's lights had been lowered, and he occasionally heard footsteps outside the door. The on-duty nurse, he thought. He wondered whether she had already checked on him earlier that night. He tried to sit up but the surging pain sent him lying back down once again.

Despite this, he was determined. His son was out there, and he hadn't see him properly yet. Tessa was out there – no doubt in pain – and needed him. With a quiet grunt which he hoped no-one had heard, he tried sitting up again. In other circumstances, he would probably have stopped by that point, but other circumstances weren't like these.

Cam had no room to think as his mind was filled with the unimaginable pain incurred by sitting up so soon after surgery. He wanted to scream, but he knew that the success of his mission depended on him not being heard or seen. After counting to three, he swung his legs out to the side and almost wished he hadn't.

Breathing heavily, he falteringly reached over to switch off the monitoring equipment before removing all the various wires and tubes attached to him. He was going to do it; he'd be damned if he missed one more minute to be with his son. He needed to be with his family, and he wasn't going to rest until he was.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Tessa lie awake in her own room in a civilian hospital. Where her son was, was bathed in a pool of moonlight, and she couldn't help but marvel at the sight. She had always loved moonlight; it seemed so mysterious and ethereal. Despite feeling weary, she couldn't go to sleep, so she kept watch over her son.

"My son," She whispered into the dark."... one day, you'll go there: to the moon." She smiled, thinking herself silly as she continued. "You'll be the first man on the moon since Eugene Cernan in 1972." Suddenly, she frowned a little. It wasn't silly at all – this was her son, whose father was unstoppable.

She slowly sat up in the dark, glad to be immersed in the quiet stillness of the night; as opposed to the noisy hustle bustle of the day when she had received many visitors. She continued to watch over her son as he slept, and she was soon overcome with worry. This would be her last night there. She would soon be allowed to go home.

She wanted to go home; to her own bed and her own shower, and her own everything else. She knew, however, that she wouldn't, at least for a little while. Daniel would never let her be alone. She was always glad of his concern, but it still aggravated her on some days. It was like she was still eight years old and he was the humongous big brother already at college.

She knew what she wanted. She wanted a bath, and then she wanted somebody to take her to see Cam. It felt like she hadn't seen him in an eternity and she needed to be with him, and he needed to spend time with Cam Jr.

She smiled despite her pain. '_**Cam**__ Junior__. What have I let myself in for?_'

The baby began to cry and she immediately scrambled off the bed and to his cot. She smiled as she picked him up in her arms, feeling a little more complete than she had done for a little while. She bounced him in her arms as he soon fell asleep again. She then kissed him on the forehead, and whispered,

"As long as I have you, I have your Dad."

She continued to hold him as she went back to her bed. She held him in her arms as she watched over him in the dark, unable to go to sleep herself. She gently rocked him as she began to sing softly, and she found herself crying.

She instinctively reached up to dry her tears on hearing a noise. She then looked towards the door, expecting a nurse. She almost dropped the baby in surprise, however, when the door opened and she heard someone breathing raggedly..

It couldn't be, she thought.

Trying to keep her cool for the baby's sake, she said, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

Horrified, she tried to get up, but she heard him say, "Stay there."

She began to cry again as she made him out in the dark. He could barely walk. She said, "Cam, please, you need to rest. You can't do this. How did you even get here?"

Cam eventually made it to her bed, and she hastily helped him to lie down. Breathing heavily, he grabbed her hand when she was about to press the call button. He said quietly, "Let me see him." When she hesitated, he said, "I've come across town to see you. The least you could do is let me see my son."

She switched a bedside light on, and was further dismayed to see the smatterings of blood on his hospital gown. His gaze followed hers, and he said quietly, "I'm fine. That's old stuff."

Feeling helpless, she placed their son onto his chest. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, breathing a sigh of relief now that he had completed his mission. He lifted a painful arm and stroked his son's head. He gazed at the child in wonder, and then looked up at a distraught Tessa. He said,

"He looks just like my little brother." He kissed the baby's head, and closed his eyes with a heavy sigh. "I had a nightmare where you named him after me."

She glared at him stonily. She said, "It wasn't a nightmare. I have named him after you."

He looked as though he was going to argue, but she continued to glare at him. She said, "Look, mister, he's your son." She paused, as though collecting herself. "I thought you'd be happy."

Still upset, Tessa quickly took the baby from him. When he appeared surprised at this, she said, "How dare you? You selfish bastard. How dare you? Your son needs you – I need you, and you've probably put your recovery back another year!" She punched him in the shoulder, ignoring him when he hissed at the pain. "You pig-headed son-of-a-bitch!"

She reached for the call button and, despite his protests, she pressed it.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Tessa was seated in a waiting room, a pram parked nearby. She leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. Being deprived of sleep in her condition probably wasn't a good thing, but she hadn't slept in a long while. It was longer than she had planned on, thanks to Cam managing to cross the city to break into the hospital. She had wondered frequently since how he had managed such an enterprise. She knew him so well, but he kept finding ways to surprise her. That had to be the ultimate surprise, and she would rather that he hadn't sprung it on her; nor indeed had she wanted anything even more surprising than that. She didn't want to know what could be more surprising than her critically injured boyfriend making his way across town and tearing stitches so he could see her and their baby.

She felt someone touch her hand, and she opened her eyes. She saw Cam's mother, Wendy, standing over her, holding two cups of coffee. Tessa smiled and accepted the proffered cup. She said, "Thanks."

Wendy smiled warmly and sat down next to her. She glanced at Tessa, and smiled again, embarrassed, when Tessa caught her gaze. Tessa looked down at the steaming cup she held, as though awaiting a few choice comments. She glanced up at Wendy, and said,

"Look, I've thought of everything that you could possibly say, in as many different ways. There's no need to get all polite now. Whatever it is, just say it."

Wendy looked at Tessa for a moment. She then shook her head and said, "Honey, I know what you think. It's not like that." She smirked briefly. "You're forgetting that I lived through the sixties." She playfully nudged Tessa. "You think Cam's Dad is my first?" Her smile faded. "Look, whatever happened, happened, sweetie. All you can do now is look to the future. I know that you'll both be fantastic parents."

Tessa blinked in surprise. She then looked ahead and then back at Wendy. She said, "I'll have to admit, not what I was expecting."

"Oh, well, you've a lot to learn about me yet." Wendy sighed wearily. "Speaking of learning things... I'm going to be blunt here, hon – this is the rest of your life." When Tessa looked puzzled, Wendy continued, "The waiting anxiously in hospitals thing. That boy is the spit of his father, and his boy will be too."

Tessa looked at Wendy and said point-blank, "I love Cam. I would do anything for him, even if it meant whacking him around the head afterwards."

Wendy chuckled softly. "Yeah... that's how I felt about Frank. These Mitchell men are impatient hot-heads."

Tessa rested her head against the wall once again as she looked at Wendy. She said, "I never told him this, but that's one of the things that attracted me to him. I can't tell him because he does need to get it under control half the time... but..." Tessa smiled, a little embarrassed as she glanced away.

Wendy tossed her coffee cup into the nearby bin. She then looked at Tessa in amusement. She said, "You too, huh? Oh, you should have seen Frank when he was young. That's the only reason he got four kids out of me."

Tessa sighed and looked up at the ceiling. She said, "I'm not having another one... no matter how much he charms me. Having little Cam was bad enough."

"Oh, that's what I said..."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam opened the door to hers and Daniel's apartment. She wearily dropped some books onto a nearby table along with her laptop. She sighed as she closed the door behind her. She then found herself smiling warmly on seeing Daniel. He was seated at his desk at the window of the living room, with Maddie on his knee.

Sam tiptoed up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. He barely flinched, but he definitely noticed her presence when she kissed him. Maddie tugged at her arm, and Sam gently kissed her daughter too. Daniel turned to look at Sam with a smile. He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. He looked at her and said,

"Hey, you."

"Hey yourself." She affectionately ruffled his hair, and said, "How have you been?"

He leaned over to kiss her hand. He said, "Quite good, actually. Maddie's been helping me plan lectures." His eyes flickered a little when she continued to hug him from behind. "How are you?"

"Good. Really tired. It's been a long day."

He rubbed his chin and said, "Oh, well, dinner's in the oven. Shauna came over and insisted on helping. Jack offered to burn some steaks."

Sam laughed a little. She then picked Maddie up. Daniel said, his smile gone, "Jack and I went to see Mitchell today. He's at the same hospital as Tess now. He came out of emergency surgery an hour ago."

Sam nodded as she tried not to look sad. She said quietly, "I know. Cam's Mom called me earlier. He can be so pig-headed. You have no idea the number of times he's scared me before now." As Maddie tugged at her hair, Sam said, "Let's go to the hospital after dinner." She couldn't help appearing sad as she said, "Poor Tessa. She's still coming here with the baby, isn't she?"

Daniel said wistfully, "Kicking and screaming if need be."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Tessa was seated alone at Cam's bedside in the hospital. He slipped in and out of consciousness, the major covered in bandages and breathing with the aid of a ventilator. She was furious at him. She wanted nothing more to slap him until he solemnly promised that he'd never do something so stupid ever again. How could he have done this to her?

She held his hand and kissed it gently. She then rested her forehead against it and began to cry quietly. She sniffed and whispered, "Please, Cam. I'll kill you if you die on me."

She moved her chair closer to the bed and laid her head down next to his. Her face crumpled in anguish as she stared at his unconscious face. She hesitantly touched his lips, and whispered, "I can't do this alone."

She reached up to smooth his hair. She kissed his nose, and said, "I'm not staying tonight. I'd like to; you know I would in a heartbeat... but Danny and Sam are taking me and Junior to theirs. I'd rather go home, but they won't let me." She smiled briefly. "We're both so lucky to have those guys looking out for us. Don't ever tell them I said that, okay?"

She held his hand to her chest, and she said, "I'll bring Junior when I come tomorrow. He's outside with Danny." She kissed his hand. "I think I'd better go now."

She reluctantly got to her feet and stood over his bed. She leaned down and planted a soft kiss on his lips. She caressed his cheek before straightening up, and she said, "I'll see you tomorrow, babe. Love you."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Back at home, Sam grinned as she watched Daniel hold his nephew in his arms as they sat together on the sofa. Tessa had gone to bed some time ago, as had Maddie. He looked so happy as he fussed over the baby. He was always good with babies – she liked watching him interact with them. She leaned against him, a peaceful smile on her face. He turned to kiss her head, and he said, smiling,

"Let's have another baby."

She smiled distractedly as she watched little Cam squirm, a small fist emerging from his blankets. She frowned a little and then smiled again as she held the fist. She sighed happily, and said, "Let's do it."

He looked at her in surprise, albeit happily. He said, "You sure? I mean, I say all kinds of things... doesn't mean that, you know..."

She grinned as she stretched up to kiss him. She said, "No, I'm sure." Her gaze moved back to the baby. "This past year has made me realise just how precious life is." She gently stroked the baby's hand as he yawned. "Our little family's growing anyway."

Daniel couldn't help but grin as he leaned over to kiss her. He said, "This is going to be so great. Maddie could do with a brother or a sister to play with." He got to his feet and she followed suit, her arms around him. He said, "Come on, let's put our little nephew to bed."

Sam suddenly stopped when she eyed their bedroom door. When Daniel looked at her in concern, she appeared awkward, remembering that Tessa was in their room rather than in Maddie's. She smiled shyly and then said, "I'll meet you in the bathroom in five minutes."

He too realised what she had, and he whispered, embarrassed, "I completely forgot." He nodded as he went to settle the now whimpering baby down. "Make it ten and you have yourself a deal."


	17. Chapter 17

Cam had been plunged into darkness. He called out but there was no reply. He turned around, realising suddenly that he had never seen a blackness as black as the one in which he had been immersed. It seemed impossibly black as though it was too black. Old dormant fears returned – fears which he had thought he had conquered as a child. The darkness held a great many things – it held all that he feared the most, both rational and irrational. The darkness heralded the end; the end of what, he wasn't quite sure, but it definitely was an end.

Just as he began to think that he might have gone blind, there was some light. It was only a little; a pinprick in the eternal darkness. He found himself walking towards it, hoping that he would come across a way out from wherever he had got himself stuck. As he walked towards it, the pinprick got bigger and bigger until at long last, he was squinting and had to raise a hand to shield his eyes from the bright glare.

With his other hand, he slowly reached out towards the light. The light grew until it seemed to expand around him. He violently flinched, as though he had touched fire, and he instinctively stepped backwards.

His hand then dropped to his side when he realised that the light wasn't hurting his eyes any more. He then proceeded to stare as he found himself in a farm. It wasn't just any farm – it was the farm he had grown up on. He stared around himself in utter bewilderment; even more so when he saw younger versions of his parents, cousins, family members, friends, and farm hands. There were even farm hands he had though had died a long time ago. They hadn't appeared to see him and all he could do was gape.

Had he died and gone to heaven... or a strange form of hell?

Confused, he found himself drawn to the house. It was large and made of white clapboard, and it seemed to loom over him like it had when he was a child. He paused as he reached the porch, and he took a few moments to look at the white wooden railings. He wondered why he was there of all places. He wondered where Tessa was: he had a strong urge to show her how things had once been, despite that world having gone a long time ago.

A familiar voice roused him out of his musings. He almost ran up the steps onto the porch, and there she was. A formidable elderly lady with white hair scraped back into a bun. She was in a rocking chair, rocking back and forth slowly while she knitted. His grandmother. His grandmother who had been dead for fifteen years.

She looked at him with that same old piercing gaze. She said in a heavy southern accent, "You look lost, son." When Cam found himself unable to speak, she said, "You got your stupid head on today?"

Feeling peculiar, yet somewhat normal, he sat at her feet like he used to when he was a boy; except he was a lot bigger now. He looked down at his hands, expecting to feel all the bad things that he had felt when he had lost his grandmother. However, to his surprise, he found himself feeling quite peaceful, as though nothing else seemed to matter.

Cam said awkwardly, "Grandma, you, uh, you went home a long time ago."

She sighed, and it sounded like a gust of wind. He looked up hesitantly, to see that she was still knitting in that serene yet formidable way of hers. Most of his memories of her seemed to involve her knitting. He had often wondered just how many items of clothing, upholstery, and haberdashery she had knitted over the course of her twilight years alone.

She said, "No reason you should yet." She looked at him finally and put her knitting down on her lap. She reached down to pat his head, the same way she had done a long time ago. "You've got your girl waiting for you, and you have a kid. Get your ass back right now."

He frowned as though confused. He said, "What are ya talkin' about, Grandma?"

"I'll have less of that lip... that's your mother talking." She got up, quicker than he ever remembered her being able to. She stood over him, and she said gruffly, "It's not your time. Get out of here. Go be with your family."

He looked up at her, barely able to process what she was telling him. She seemed to glow warmly as she smiled down at him. She patted his head and said affectionately, "I'm proud of you, boy; of who you are, and of who you will become."

She seemed to glow brighter and brighter; so bright that he had trouble looking at her. He said, a hand shielding his eyes, "Grandma, what..."

Suddenly something had changed. He blinked as his hand disappeared from view. The light was still there. He couldn't see it properly but it was still there, but his grandma wasn't. This had to be real, he realised, when he felt as weak as he now remembered being. The unending pain and discomfort returned and he felt trapped within his own body like he had when he had first woken up in the air force hospital.

He closed his eyes, feeling too tired to keep them open for any longer. Each breath was painful; more painful than he remembered breathing ever being. If he concentrated hard enough, he could remember things; little things. He groaned, wanting to feel alive again. What had happened? He struggled to open his eyes again, and he saw something dark eclipse the big light. It took him a little while to realise that it was a human head, and that he was in fact in an operating theatre.

More heads appeared. They said things that sounded muffled to him; as though they were speaking through a wall. He wanted to punch the person who forced his eyes open and waved a pen light around. He was already hurting, but that seemed to burn his eyes, and he was too weak to turn away and utter some choice words at the perpetrator.

Someone was speaking to him now. He tried to speak but it was a struggle. It felt as though he had never spoken before. His throat was dry, his lips were chapped, and he wanted nothing more than to shout out loud; scream, if he could. He wanted to shout at them to leave him alone. He didn't care that they were surgeons; he just wanted to be left in peace.

And then he saw his grandma again in his mind's eye. He was suddenly glad to be alive. She had sent him back so that he could be with Tessa and with his son. He closed his eyes and willed himself to get through this ordeal. There were two people counting on him and he wasn't going to let them down.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Tessa was back home finally. She had insisted upon it – almost aggressively so – having not liked the idea of imposing on her brother and his wife. Of course, it hadn't stopped them calling her at all times of the day and night, and either or both of them taking her to the hospital to see Cam. Truth be told, she was reluctant to go and see him. Initially, she had thought that it was because she was angry, but then she came to realise that it was because she was scared; scared of losing him again. She didn't think she had it in herself to go through all the pain and the misery again, watching him jeopardise his health each time he was halfway to being fit again.

She looked down at the baby which she held to her shoulder, and she kissed his forehead. He yawned and looked as though he was going to kick up a fuss until he went back to sleep. She gently rocked him as she went back to looking out of her apartment window. As much as she wanted to hate Cam, she couldn't. She understood why he did what he had done. She probably would have done the same thing, had she had his strength and determination. If she had been in his position, nothing would have kept her from him. She glanced at her watch and suddenly questioned what she was doing at home by herself.

She quickly put together a bag and put her son in his carry cot. She then grabbed her keys and left the apartment.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

In the university cafeteria, Sam surveyed her surroundings. It was midday and the room was bustling with students eating and talking: the staff taking their food to their own offices or outside. She entered the room further, pretending not to hear various students call out her name, whether in jest, or from particularly irritating students.

She joined the lunch queue and smiled in surprise on seeing someone a few people ahead of her. She jumped the queue to join him, ignoring some annoyed glares from other members of staff. She nudged Daniel, who seemed to be unable to decide between an apple or a banana. He glanced back at her, and then turned to look at her fully in surprise when he realised who she was. She said, amused,

"Hey, it's weird seeing you here."

He smiled bashfully and remarked, "You're telling me."

He finally seemed to settle on the banana before grabbing a drink and making his way to the till. She grabbed a bottle of water and followed suit. As she did so, she said to Daniel, "Just as well this place has daycare."

He waited next to the till as she appeared to dither, something having caught her eye. Feeling a touch guilty, she reached for a cup of blue jell-o and then paid the cashier. She walked away with Daniel, who kept looking at her in silent amusement. Finally, she looked at him and said, embarrassed,

"What?"

He shook his head as they left the dining hall. He then said, "It's just that look on your face when you really want something sweet but don't think you should."

"Well, I'm glad someone finds me amusing." She nudged him again, and said, smirking, "Anyway, let's go hide in your office."

He looked at her, feigning seriousness. "Don't you have work to do?"

She shrugged and said coyly, "It can wait." She sighed, now looking exhausted. She said, "It's been a long day, Daniel... and I'm not sure I can face the Three Stooges in my office."

"I'm not sure how you do it anyway."

They walked the rest of the way in silence, both glad of the quiet after the noise and the stress of the day up until then. When they reached his faculty building and then his office, he opened the door and silently gestured for her to enter first. She did, and he followed, closing the door behind him. She sank in his chair, sighing tiredly as she dropped her water and jell-o on the desk. She rubbed her eyes and leaned back, her head feeling a lot clearer than it had been since she had left home that morning. She looked up as he pulled up a chair next to her, and it occurred to her that he rarely objected to her stealing his chair. She rested her head against the back of the chair as she watched him quietly unwind.

She said, "Long day?"

He took his glasses off and put them on the desk. He looked at her tiredly. "I don't think I even need to say anything." He sighed. "I called Tess before my third class. She and Junior are back in the hospital with Mitchell."

She nodded and said, "Figured she'd be. She wants to kill him but she can't stay away." She closed her eyes as she leaned back further. She said, "Well, I've only got one more class left, and then a bucketful of marking. I can go see him."

"I'll go with you. I've only been covering Doctor Balinsky's classes this morning and you've got me for the rest of the day." He leaned over to smooth her hair, and she opened her eyes to look at him. He said with a faint smile, "It's all slowly working out again."

She groaned wearily and said, "Okay, so we're agreed... if Cam pulls another stupid again, I get to kill him. Tess can try all she likes, but he's my surrogate brother."

He said, amused, "Oh, don't say that in front of Tess; it'll only give her ideas."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cam could barely believe it. He was outside again, albeit in a wheelchair, but he was outside. That was all that mattered. No, he thought to himself, all that mattered was that he had his girlfriend and his son with him. He cradled his son in his lap, watching him sleep, and he wondered, not for the first time, whether he would see his namesake grow up. Naturally, he hadn't confided that worry in Tessa; she would only get upset with him.

He looked up to see Tessa watching him. He could tell she was annoyed at him. There were just little things that he had learned to watch for: the way she found it difficult to make small talk; the way she sat aloof; and the way her fingers aggressively twitched. He rolled his head to one side and looked at her. He said weakly,

"Tess, come on, don't hold it in. I know you're pissed at me."

She snapped, "Damn right I'm pissed at you." Her eyes hardened as she glared at him. She said, "You can't be selfish any more, Cam. You've got a son now, okay?" Her eyes fell to the little boy in his lap and she angrily brushed away a tear. "... and I'm not having you do stupid things like that again."

She trembled and Cam appeared surprised albeit guardedly as he was well aware of how volatile her temper could be. She seemed a lot angrier than he thought she had been. He must have hurt her badly. He sighed, not knowing what to say to quell her fury.

She said, "I can't keep watching you do this. It's not fair."

He frowned at her, as though bemused. He said, "Baby..."

"Don't 'baby' me!" She clenched her fists, determined not to wake the baby by shouting. She said, "It's not fair on me and it's not fair on Junior. He needs you just as much as he needs me. We're supposed to be a team."

She stormed away from him angrily through the grounds of the hospital, and he looked down at his son again. He felt guilt – of course he did – but he had done what he thought he had to do at the time. He paused and mentally shook his head. No, as usual, he did what he wanted to do, regardless of the consequences... but how could she blame him? He had risked it all for her and for their son, and he would do it a thousand times more if it meant spending more time with both of them.

He sighed quietly as he held his son's hand. Next time he might not be so lucky. He slowly lifted his son up, mindful of the pain in his shoulders. He gently kissed the baby on the forehead, and he whispered, "I'm sorry, son."

He cradled his son again and watched the boy squirm. He took the baby's hat off and gently caressed the fair downy hair of his son's head. He glanced up on sensing a presence and he appeared mildly surprised to see Tessa standing there, watching him. She appeared somewhat calmer than she had been; almost penitent.

She leaned down to kiss him slowly, and he closed his eyes, overwhelmed. She said, looking worried, "Get better soon, Cam."

She then sat on a chair next to his wheelchair and helped him to hold their son. She carefully rested her head against his shoulder. She said, looking down at the baby and then at his hand, "We really need you."

He ignored the pain in his shoulder as he lifted his arm. He wrapped it around her shoulders, and he felt whole again. He had come back for her and for their boy. He was going to make sure he made the most of every day from now on. He turned to kiss her, realising then that she was crying quietly. His chest ached on seeing her so upset, and he kissed her again. He said softly,

"I promise, Tess."

The heartfelt adherence to an unspoken promise seemed to be all that she needed. She still looked upset, but she seemed peaceful too, as though settling in for the long haul. He kissed the top of her head, and he rested his head against hers. He whispered,

"I need you too... and I'm sorry I let you down."


	18. Chapter 18

In the kitchen, Sam wiped up a spill as she wearily muttered some insults under her breath. She got up to wash her hands, groaning aloud when the phone started ringing. She picked the phone up and then disconnected without finding out the identity of the caller. As Maddie started crying in her high-chair, Sam closed her eyes and took a deep breath to steady her fraying nerves. She then turned back to the kitchen and attempted to soothe her daughter.

Sam tried not to get annoyed when Maddie petulantly spat more food out than she was eating. She said, annoyed, "Madeleine, why do you always do this when your Dad's not around?" Sam straightened up and said tiredly, "Look, I can't do this every time."

Maddie looked up at her, the girl staring up at her wide-eyed. Sam turned away from her daughter and took a seat at the table. Maddie slowly picked up her spoon and frowned as she tried to feed herself. Sam sat back in her chair and took a sip of her coffee. As she did so, she paused, as though realising something.

She slowly put the mug down, looking at it as though it had just spoken to her. She instantly put her hand to her mouth as tears surged in her eyes. Mentally shaking herself, she grabbed her phone and shakily composed a text message. Before she could even put the phone down, the phone started ringing and she answered it.

Despite her tears, she was smiling too. She said, "Daniel, my coffee tastes weird." She sniffed. "It has the same taste that it did when I was carrying Maddie."

Overwhelmed, the phone dropped from her hand and she hid her face in her hands.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Tessa glanced to the passenger seat on her right as she drove her car for the first time in a while. She could finally take him home. She was still worried about his health, but he had been making a lot of progress and had so far kept his promise to behave himself. When they came to a stop sign, she looked over her shoulder, checking on her son, who slept soundly in his car seat. She smiled at that and then resumed driving.

Cam, who had been watching her the whole time, looked the slightest bit bemused yet he smiled. He said hoarsely, "Kid ain't going anywhere."

She glanced at him sharply as she turned a corner. She retorted, "With your track record, I can never be sure."

He smiled weakly as he rested his head against the seat-rest. He said, amused, "Should've thought about that before you bore my seed."

She found herself smiling as she concentrated on driving. She said quietly, "I should have thought about a lot of things..." She winked at him. "... but where would be the fun in that?"

"Now that's what I'm talkin' about. My woman is as crazy as I am."

She shook her head and chuckled softly. "No-one is as crazy as you are, Cam."

She had just come to a complete stop when her phone rang, startling both of them and waking the baby. When Cam tried to turn to soothe their son, Tessa thrust her phone at him and did it herself. She climbed into the back seat and hushed Cam Junior as he screamed loudly.

When at last she had managed to settle the baby down, she looked at Cam. She found him staring at her wide-eyed and a part of her feared the worst. Before she could even speak, he gave the phone back to her and said,

"It's your brother... he's got some news for you."

She frowned sceptically as she sensed humour in his tone. She took the phone from him, and seconds later, she screamed hysterically; only stopping when she realised that she had woken her son up again. Disconnecting, she leaned forward between the seats and kissed him. She said with a grin,

"I'm going to be an aunt again." She nudged him coyly. "And you thought I was talking crap about their bathroom." She then grimaced in disgust momentarily. She said, "Okay, eww... but..." She affectionately ruffled his hair. "... it's happening again. I can't believe it."

He smiled at tiredly as he watched her from the seat-rest. He said, "Neither can I, baby."

She looked back at him sharply when she noticed a suggestive smile on his face. She folded her arms across her chest defensively. She said, "Uh-uh, you're just getting the one kiddy out of me. I'm a blimp enough as it is... I'm not having any more, buster." She sighed dramatically. "I don't know who the hell would want to marry you."

He chuckled weakly and closed his eyes. He retorted fondly, "You're the one who said 'yes' after the twenty-millionth time, baby doll. And anyway, if you're a blimp, you're my blimp."

"Oh, go screw yourself, Cameron Mitchell."

"Looks like I'll have to, the number of times you get pissed at me."

She sighed in despair, only refraining from hitting him on account of his physical condition. She glanced through the windscreen, and she said, "Well, Skip, let's get you out and installed."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam lie on her side within the dark confines of her room. He had left the window open a little and she relished the feel of the cool night air as it touched her hot skin. It had been a long day. Just when she had thought that her life was beginning to quieten down, something happened which kicked things off again, and it reminded her just how much she actually loved the crazy side of life. It made things interesting; kept one on one's toes, ready for anything that life was about to throw at them.

There wasn't much more that life could in fact throw her way, she surmised. The past couple of years had given her dizzying highs and sickening lows. Being laid up with burns had been a particular low point in her life, but she couldn't see it as a bad thing now; not when she considered that if she hadn't been in that particular hospital, she might never have met Daniel.

Another low point had been the death of Daniel's grandfather. She had been close to Nick since that first time that Daniel had taken her home, and it had hurt when he had gone, even though they had known for a long time that he had been gravely ill. She could never have foreseen, however, just how hurt Daniel had been; how much in pain. Much of it, she had worked out, had been guilt for all those years he had lost during the bad blood between himself and Nick.

Their family was slowly growing now. It had hit her quite sharply now that Cam had effectively grown up and moved on with his life. She hadn't realised just how much like a little brother she had seen him for all the years that they had spent living together. He was Tessa's responsibility now, and, being honest, she couldn't think of a better person for him to be with.

It would be some time before she would find out what she was carrying. She hated to refer to her unborn child as 'it' or 'he/she'. She wanted to name it; to call it something while she spent alone-time talking to it, but she would have to be patient for once.

She flinched a little when she heard the door open. She then heard Daniel's voice as he neared the bed. He said quietly, "Maddie's sleeping. Cam and Tess are all settled. I'm going to theirs in the morning before work."

He groaned softly as he sat down on the bed. She smiled, not needing to see him to know that he was taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes. She smiled even more when he finally lie down behind her and wrapped an arm firmly around her waist. She closed her eyes, treasuring the quiet time that they were lucky enough to have. The crazy times made her appreciate moments like this all the more.

She slowly turned over so that she was lying on her back. She looked at him in the dark and reached over to touch his face. She felt him turn his head to kiss her hand, and she moved in to kiss him. She ran her fingers slowly through his hair as she mused, liking the way that he quietly listened in that way of his when he wasn't high on caffeine.

Daniel said quietly, "The next big thing now is those two getting married."

Sam laughed softly in the dark. She said, "That's if she doesn't kill him first." She sighed happily. "It's just really great now."

He quietly scoffed. "If you count Mitchell being injured 'great', then sure..."

She chuckled. "You know what I mean, Daniel. It's all working itself out. He's getting better; she's recovering from the baby; we're all doing things we love; and we're going to be parents again."

She smiled as he kissed her, his kisses going to her neck and her shoulder. She laughed at this, too relaxed and happy to stop him. He said, semi-seriously, "You think it's all going to roses at the wedding? Even if Mitchell learns to walk properly again in time, those two will have the craziest of blow-ups over nothing." He sighed theatrically. "I feel sorry for my little nephew. Growing up with my sister is going to be trying enough."

"Oh, I don't know; you turned out all right."

He rolled his eyes. "That's because, Samantha, I'm a lot older than her. If we'd had a younger brother, he'd have run away long ago and never spoken to any of us ever again." He kissed her neck, and whispered, "Anyway, come on, let's get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day."

"It usually is."


	19. Chapter 19

_Epilogue: around a year later..._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

A car pulled to a stop. The driver seemed to hesitate before opening the door. Daniel stepped out, the archaeologist dressed in a smart dark suit, a pink carnation tucked into one of the lapels. He scanned his surroundings, looking out at the cemetery grounds. He recognised trees from a previous visit, and he took a moment to take in the sight of the leaves of different shades of brown and green on the ground. His chest ached as he let himself remember for a short time. The past couple of years had been such a blur. It seemed as though he had forgotten just how much pain he had been in while standing in front of the trees several hundred metres in front of him.

He sighed, pulling himself together again. Now was neither the time nor the place. Daniel closed the car door behind him and pocketed his keys. He slowly walked in the direction of the towering white pines, knowing where to go from his first and previously only visit.

He emerged into a large green area with row-upon-row of grave stones lined up on the ground; stones of different colours, shapes, sizes, and aesthetic tastes. He didn't hesitate when he spotted, in the distance, someone in white sat on the ground.

He must have been quiet. He came so close to her, finding her talking to the stone that she was seated near. Tessa was dressed in what appeared to be a crumpled mass of creamy satin and silk. Her hair had fallen down her back and she was crying as she spoke quietly to the stone, her bouquet in her lap.

Daniel wanted to give her a moment. However, he knew that time wasn't on their side even if tradition allowed for the bride to be late. He kneeled at her side, dismayed to an extent when she didn't bother pretending that she hadn't been crying like she usually tended to do. He hugged her tightly, tears in his own eyes.

He said, "I thought it would hurt less by now."

Tessa sniffed, and she said, "I thought that too." When he eventually let her go, she looked down, as though embarrassed. She then looked at the gravestone. She looked back at Daniel. She said, smiling sadly, "He should be here. He wanted to. He always said he wouldn't miss it for the world on account of me getting married being as likely as the moon exploding."

Daniel shook his head as he hid a smile. He patted the stone, and said, "Well, that was Opa for you... insults and odd metaphors." He rubbed her arm supportively as she looked down at her flowers. "Anyway, come on... we need to get back before Sam has my head on a pike." He frowned briefly. "I forget sometimes just how crazy she can get."

Tessa chuckled softly as she looked at her brother. She said, "It's crazy or the highway being with you."

He blushed as he shrugged and closed his eyes for a moment. He said, "Well, I'll have to admit that her kind of crazy is something I can live with."

She laughed and whacked him across the chest. She then said, "I like Cam's crazy... and apparently he likes mine."

"Someone has to if they have to live with you and Junior." As her gaze moved back to the gravestone, he nudged her affectionately. He said, "Come on, we've got to get home so you can get tidied up. I'm sure you don't want to walk down the aisle looking crazier than you already are."

She looked at him challengingly. "Who says I don't? We're supposed to be doing the whole 'for better, for worse,' thing so me going in like this shouldn't faze the guy."

He regarded her semi-seriously. He said, "Uh-huh... the same guy who's tolerated you for three years and still asked you to marry him."

She whacked him with her bouquet, and he rubbed his shoulder; partly to get rid of the petals on his shoulder, but also to rub away the slight pain. She then rested her head against his shoulder. She said thoughtfully, "I miss him." She looked at the inscription on the stone. She then looked up at him. "How long do I have?"

Daniel made a show of checking the time on his wristwatch. He said, "You have a half hour to get home, get straightened out, and then out to the church."

She instantly paled, and he looked worried. He said, "Tess?"

She looked up at him, scared. She said, "We're doing this too quickly. He's only just getting used to walking without a cane or crutches now."

Still looking scared, she shrugged. "And let's face it, the only reason I agreed to marry him was that I thought that maybe he'd stay with me." She fiddled with her flowers. "But..." She sighed. "... I can't and I shouldn't make him choose." She looked up at Daniel, a fearful resolve in her eyes. "He loves me and that's enough. One day I won't be so lucky and I will lose him. I know that. He belongs to the country before he belongs to me; he always has."

He slid an arm around as he looked down at his grandfather's grave. He then said softly, "It's very brave of you. I know how you feel about the military, but it's his life. If Sam ever decided to re-enlist, I'd let her." He looked at her slightly troubled. "Sometimes I see her looking into space, and I wonder whether she wants to fly again. It was a huge part of her life and she left it behind."

Tessa hummed in agreement. She then said, glancing at him, "But she's got that flight instructor set-up with John Sheppard."

Daniel sighed wistfully. "Oh, Tess. You and I both know what our other halves long for. I have it on good authority that it's nothing like the flying she used to do; the flying that Mitchell does. It hurts me to think that I might be the reason she never went back into the military."

She nudged him and looked at him sceptically. She said, "Well, you know, it could be that she likes being able to use her academic qualifications, and, oh, that you managed to give her two bathroom babies." She smiled a little as she reached down to smooth her stomach. She looked up at her brother. "I never thought I'd be here right now, with baby number two on the way. I always said that Junior would be my first and last."

He appeared worried as he followed her gaze down to her stomach. He then looked at her. He said, "Yeah, about that... it didn't take you very long to change your mind."

She blushed, embarrassed as she thought of something. She shrugged and said, "Well, little Cam needs a brother to have broom fights with."

"Broom fights?"

She smiled. "Yeah, Cam and his brother used to fight a lot when they were kids."

"Ah." Daniel looked up at the sky as an eagle swooped and dove. He watched it until it flew out of view, and suddenly he felt at peace. He slowly smoothed the stone, and then looked at his sister. He said, "So, Tess, you ready?"

She quickly dabbed at her eyes and then nodded. She said, "Yeah." She sighed, the sound a lot happier than it had been. She said, "Yes. I think I am."

She leaned against him as he said his farewells to their grandfather. He then said, "Come on, before he thinks you've run away."

She pouted sceptically as he helped her to her feet. She said, "Knowing my luck, he's probably run away with some high school crush."

She sighed softly, ignoring the weird look from her brother. She closed her eyes for a long moment, taking in the peaceful atmosphere around her. She could hear the birds singing in the distance, and the soft rustling of trees in the breeze. She found herself smiling a little as she opened her eyes again.

She carefully placed her bouquet on her grandfather's grave. Reflecting for another moment, she then looked at Daniel. She said calmly, "Let's roll, groot broeder."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam closed her eyes as Daniel held her close to him as they slowly swayed to the music. It was times like these when there were no crises and when everything was going right, that she felt most at ease and free. She could just be with Daniel and recharge her batteries so to speak. There wasn't the frisson that had been there in the early days of their relationship; they had long got over the honeymoon phase. But there was a deeper feeling that had always been there; a feeling of unconditional love and an implicit trust.

That was more than enough. They were an interdependent team which took turns with childcare and housework, and it had worked quite well so far. She couldn't imagine life without him; she had come to depend on him and he had come to depend on her too. She had previously thought it unthinkable to let herself be so open with someone, but with him, it was different. She wasn't sure whether it was down to his initial role in her life as her psychologist, but being open with him felt like more of strength than a weakness.

She wondered sometimes whether her mother had, at some point, felt that way about her father.

When she opened her eyes again, she caught sight of Tessa in Cam's arms. The happy couple had stopped dancing, and he was leading her away. Sam smiled at this. Her brother. Sure, he wasn't her biological brother, but it felt good to see him so happy and in love. She had known since meeting Tessa for the first time that the two would have been a good match.

And now they were married and expecting their second child.

She saw her biological brother, Mark, and his wife dancing a few couples away from them. Sometimes she felt guilty at how close she was to Cam, and how happy she was about him and Tessa; she hadn't been as happy when Mark and his wife had got together. She had been happy, but not the warm, fuzzy happiness that she felt now. She and Cam had spent a lot of time together and had been through such a lot that she couldn't help but feel the way she did about him and his new wife.

It couldn't have been more perfect if she had made the whole thing up. Her surrogate brother with her husband's sister. She loved them both and wished them the best of fortunes. They had been through so much already and had come out the other end stronger and more sure about themselves and each other.

She realised, moments later, that Daniel was staring at her. She focussed on her gaze on him and appeared bemused. She said, "What?"

He smiled warmly and shook his head. He said, "Nothing. It's just that I never thought that I'd be this happy on Tessa's wedding day. She couldn't have picked a better man."

Sam grinned. "I know. Those two are like peas in a pod." She appeared bashful. "She's the sister I never had." She paused, suddenly quite worried. "We can't tell them."

"Are you kidding? They already know; that's why they run rings around us. It's also why they live next door to us."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Daniel smiled, feeling unbelievably happy. He had everyone he cared about under one roof, and his wife actually liked his family. He kissed her gently and said, "Neither would I."

Sam rested her head against his shoulder as she watched the couples that passed them. There was Jack with Sara; Melburn and Claire; T and Shauna; Jonas and Val; John and Elizabeth; Janet and Doctor Carmichael; Cassie and her latest boyfriend. There were a few of Cam's friends that she recognised, and some of Tessa's and Daniel's colleagues. Sam couldn't help but beam. She had a wonderful family.

She saw, at some distance, a circle of children playing. In amongst them were her own children. Her smile faded slightly as she became just as slightly wistful. They had named their boy after Daniel's grandfather. At last they had had some closure with the thought that the little boy with his father's good looks, might carry on his great-grandfather's spirit.

She turned back to look at Daniel when she heard her son crying. She turned back to him to see Maddie helping him up and she smiled a little. She and Daniel let go of one another as they went to check on little Nick as he bawled his eyes out, and as Maddie proceeded to reel off a story involving a tantrum over not being allowed to eat marbles.

Sam pried out the last marble from his hand as he waved his fist angrily. She picked him up and swung him around before holding him to her hip. He seemed to get embarrassed as he noticed people watching him, and he hid his face in his mother's shoulder. Sam glanced at Daniel knowingly before walking to the edge of the room to some tables, where she proceeded to spend some quiet time with Nick away from the dancing and the music.

Daniel smiled a little as he watched his wife and his son, and he wondered what the future might hold for them all. Continuing to feel at peace, he looked down to see that Maddie had run away to climb onto Tessa, who was seated at a table with Cam. He was about to go take his daughter away so that his sister and her new husband could have some privacy, but then his nephew joined the party.

With a smile, Daniel turned around to find the remaining children arguing over a card game that they had started. With a dramatic sigh, he sat down on the floor with them and joined the game. His friends, and perhaps his wife and his sister, may laugh at him later, but he couldn't let these children play Mah-jong with misinformed rules.

He had a responsibility, dammit.

– **Fin**

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_Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Much appreciated. Apologies for ending the story at this point, but now that I'm a student again, I have a lot less time to write somewhat coherently, and I figured it'd be better to end the story rather than to put it on hiatus and forget about it. Thank you all so much for the support during this story and others. Thank you._


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